Biden mandates shoving marbles up everyone’s asses after tweet by Nicki Minaj
WASHINGTON, DC--President* Biden has issued a rare edict mandating that all Americans have marbles shoved up their asses to fight...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
AOC wears ‘Eat the Rich’ dress to Met Gala then literally eats 4 rich guests
NEW YORK—US representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has never been one to shy away from controversy. While attending the $30,000 per...
BREAKING: Fox News calls tomorrow’s California recall election for Gavin Newsom
SACRAMENTO—Fox News has officially called tomorrow's California recall election for Governor Gavin Newsom hours before in-person voting has begun. After...
BREAKING: Biden mandates proof of vaccination or proof you’re an illegal alien to keep working
WASHINGTON, DC—He tried encouraging. He tried cajoling. He tried dangling gifts and all manner of incentives. But eight months into...
The Institute of Unfinished Research has determined that 6 out of 10 people
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA--A new study published by the Institute of Unfinished Research has determined that 6 out of 10 people....
Feds working to restore power to Ida victims so they can get back to spying on them
NEW ORLEANS--Federal agents are working feverishly to restore power the victims of Hurricane Ida in Louisiana, New Jersey, and New...
Biden mandates a forehead tattoo of ‘build back better’ as national vaccine passport
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden announced today that he will be mandating a national vaccine passport in order for people to...
BREAKING: 1500 Americans left in Afghanistan have information that will lead to Hillary Clinton’s arrest
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—Up to 1,500 Americans that are left in Afghanistan after US President* Biden pulled forces out have information that...
Homeland Security adds new potential terror threats
WASHINGTON, DC—The US Department of Homeland Security has issued new potential terror threats in the wake of the Afghanistan debacle....
BREAKING: Derek Chauvin released after changing defense to ‘I saved countless lives by killing George Floyd’
MINNEAPOLIS—Former Minneapolis Police Department Officer Derek Chauvin, who was convicted of the murder of George Floyd in 2020, was released...
