BREAKING: FBI apprehends suspect of Colonial Pipeline cyberhack
WASHINGTON, DC—FBI Director Christopher Wray announce today that the FBI has apprehended their primary suspect in the Colonial Pipeline cyberhack,...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Google removes Kyle Rittenhouse doodle after receiving complaints
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Search engine behemoth Google commemorated the Kenosha, WI unrest shooter Kyle Rittenhouse today with a fun doodle illustration...
BREAKING: Biden denies hacking of ‘most secure gas pipeline ever’
WASHINGTON, DC—Reports came in over the weekend of a potential hacking of the Colonial Pipeline, which carried fuel from Mexico...
BREAKING: FBI thoroughly investigating the source of Matt Gaetz’s perfect hair
WASHINGTON, DC--The Federal Bureau of Investigation has been working on a shocking case involving US Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL). The...
Texas publishes helpful map for Californians looking to move to the state
AUSTIN—The Texas Board of Californian Resettlement (TBCR) has published a helpful map for all the Californians seeking asylum in their...
To ensure equality, NBA will now end all games in 93-93 tie
LOS ANGELES—The National Basketball Association is putting its money where its social justice mouth is. To ensure equality in the...
3 Stacey Abrams romance novels including ‘Moby Dick: A Love Story’ to be reissued
ATLANTA—Before she ran for governor of Georgia, before she registered 800,000 dead voters with her organization Fair Fight, before she...
BREAKING: Melinda Gates will become the 3rd richest man in the world after divorce
SEATTLE—Bill and Melinda Gates have announced their divorce after 27 years of marriage. The split will make Melinda the third...
BREAKING: Shady Arizona election audit officials cover windows with cardboard; eject observers
MARICOPA COUNTY, AZ--As tensions continue to build over allegations of irregularities in the shady audit of the 2020 presidential election...
Every NFL team has selected Joe Biden as their first pick in 2021 NFL Draft
CLEVELAND--Each year there are some big surprises in the NFL Draft but no one was ready for this year when...
