Get a lobotomy and other ways you can celebrate the 1st anniversary of ’15 Days to Flatten the Curve’
US—It's been one whole year since our health experts told us we would only need to lockdown society and ruin...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Grammys slammed for including inappropriate Pepé Le Pew in otherwise family-friendly Cardi B pornography
HOLLYWOOD—People across the country were livid that the Grammys production staff included the offensive and inappropriate cartoon skunk Pepé Le...
BREAKING: Democrats agree to let you have some of your money in $1.9 trillion relief package
WASHINGTON, DC—Democrats in control of both houses of Congress and the White House recently passed the $1.9 trillion relief package,...
Biden promises to briefly release citizens from lockdown on 4th of July for good behavior
WASHINGTON, DC—For the one-year anniversary of "15 Days to Flatten the Curve", President Biden promises to release the citizens of...
BREAKING: White House schedules Biden’s first State of the Union speech for shortly after he dies
WASHINGTON, DC—The White House has scheduled President Biden's first State of the Union speech to be delivered to a joint...
Moms relieved Pepé Le Pew is canceled so their kids can get back to watching ‘Wet Ass Pussy’ in peace
US—Moms around the country are relieved that the Loony Toons character Pepé Le Pew has been cancelled so their kids...
Call for recently laid off HuffPo writers
Dear laid off Huffington Post writers, we know you're hurt and struggling in this time of flux, but there are...
Biden approval rating surges after he’s replaced with a cardboard cutout of himself
US—President Biden's approval rating has surged after he was replaced with a cardboard cutout of himself yesterday. The move came...
Disney releases first oppressed princess Meghan doll
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—Disney has released the first oppressed princess Meghan doll—a new line of toys marketed to young girls....
Dems celebrate ‘Make Women History’ Month through sex-selective abortion rights
WASHINGTON, DC—Democrats celebrated "Make Women History" Month by promoting the elimination of all women through sex-selective abortion and other progressive...
