AOC orders her steaks medium because large steaks aren’t eco-friendly
BROOKLYN—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) does not mess around when she goes out to eat. She is fully masked and she...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Biden calls up National Guard to protect against the growing threat of Dr. Seuss
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has called up the National Guard to protect the entire country against the vicious new threat of...
Biden gets largest crowd ever at border rally
(CNN) President Joe Biden must be getting really popular. Everyone must love his long list of executive orders and new...
Woman with ‘My Body My Choice’ shirt freaks out about Texas ending mask mandate
AUSTIN—A woman with a “My Body My Choice” shirt has been stationed at the Texas governor's mansion screaming at Governor...
White House demands removal of offensive new Dr. Seuss books
WASHINGTON, DC—White House personnel were infuriated to learn of new offensive Dr. Seuss books to replace the old offensive Dr....
Biden cancels Dr. Seuss after repeatedly failing ‘The Cat’s Quizzer’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has canceled Dr. Seuss after repeatedly failing "The Cat's Quizzer" trivia book. "That stuff is really hard...
Biden replaces Women’s History Month with Transwomen’s History Month
WASHINGTON, DC—In his latest brave executive order, President Biden has eliminated Women's History Month and replaced it with Transwomen's History...
Supreme Court Justice Roberts plugs ears, yells ‘I can’t hear you’ in response to election fraud cases
WASHINGTON, DC—The highest court in the United States has rejected the last legal contest to the widespread election fraud in...
Trump delivers his 5th State of the Union speech from Florida
ORLANDO—In a unique change of pace, President Trump delivered his fifth State of the Union speech to an enthusiastic crowd...
World stunned to hear a US president form complete sentences for the first time in a month
ORLANDO—Viewers around the world were shocked and stunned to hear a president make coherent points and form complete sentences for...
