Case for Biden sainthood opened at Vatican after he raised millions from the dead on election day
VATICAN CITY—Pope Francis has praised the initiation of the cause for sainthood for US politician Joe Biden after evidence has...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: CNN projects Kamala Harris winner of 2024 presidential election
US—Millions of people took to the street to celebrate as Joe Biden's VP pick Kamala Harris was projected winner of...
BREAKING: Large political rallies are okay again
NEW YORK—CNN has confirmed that large political rallies are okay again as long as they are full of people celebrating...
Trump supporters loot and pillage local Walmart after Biden declared winner
SHEBOYGAN, WI--Racist supporters of President Donald Trump descended on a local Walmart to loot and pillage in protest of Democratic...
Dems say we can’t investigate election fraud because ‘we’ve run out of investigations’
US—After years of investigations into the Trump administration, Democrats now say that there can’t be any more investigations because, "we have...
BREAKING: Joe Biden declares war on two countries during victory speech
WASHINGTON DC--Shortly after the MSNBC declared Joe Biden president-elect of the United States of America during a disputed election, Biden...
BREAKING: America is no longer a systemically racist country
(CNN) Thanks to a crushing victory in the 2020 presidential race by Joe Biden, eulogist for KKK Grand Cyclops Robert...
BREAKING: We declare Kanye West the 46th president of the United States
WASHINGTON DC—Prestigious news organization Genesius Times has declared Kanye West the 46th president of the United States of America. West...
Biden won’t release the cure to cancer until Trump concedes
WASHINGTON DC—Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden says he will not release the cure to cancer until after President Donald Trump...
BREAKING: Nevada switches to Common Core math with 10k Republican votes left to count
LAS VEGAS—Election officials in Nevada warned that they may not have results for the presidential election until some time after...
