‘I can’t afford my student loan’ woman wearing $1000 outfit tweets on $800 phone
Angry with the injustice of the financial system, fashionable local woman Charlie Burke hate tweeted, "I can't afford my student...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Russians massacre innocent Ukrainian family in cold blood
KYIV—Russians have brutally massacred an innocent Ukrainian family for no reason as shown in a surveillance video. US President* Biden...
Branch Covidians hold candlelight vigil after learning Fauci will be stepping down
US—Adherents to the fastest growing religion in the country, the Branch Covidian cult, held candlelight vigils across the country after...
BREAKING: Liz Cheney vows to keep fighting for the Uniparty following blowout loss
CHEYENNE, WY—US Representative. Liz Cheney (R-WY) vowed to keep fighting for the Uniparty in an exclusive interview with Genesius Times...
Local Leftist swaps ‘Defund the Police’ bumper sticker for ‘Support Your Local FBI’ sticker
US—A local leftist, Wankie McLittlejon, has finally switched his ‘Defund the Police’ bumper sticker to one that says ‘Support Your...
BREAKING: Pope Francis bans all ‘assault rosaries’ from Catholic homes, churches
THE VATICAN—Following the Atlantic's article identifying the rosary as an "extremist" assault weapon, the Holy Father has moved to ban...
BREAKING: Biden changes nuclear codes to ‘password’ to be more secure following Trump raid
WASHINGTON, DC—Following reports that former President Donald Trump has been selling the nation's nuclear codes as part of his 2024...
BREAKING: Hunter Biden tests positive for every disease except COVID
US—During this global health crisis, austere businessman Hunter Biden has tested positive for every disease except for COVID, which is...
BREAKING: Twitter suspends the CDC for contradicting the CDC
TWATVILLE, CA—Social media behemoth Twitter has been banned the Centers for Disease Control and Propagation (CDC) indefinitely from its platform...
Historians remove Nicolaus Copernicus for denying scientific consensus
US—Nicolaus Copernicus was a Renaissance polymath, active as a mathematician, astronomer, and Catholic canon, whose statements frequently contradict the scientific consensus on the Earth...
