BREAKING: Damar Hamlin spotted on the front lines in Ukraine
What an amazing comeback. Damar Hamlin suffered a mysterious cardiac arrest on Monday Night Football two weeks ago and NFL...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
Exclusive interview with a guy behind a mask and sunglasses that’s totally Damar Hamlin
We at Genesius Times is pleased to share with you an exclusive interview with a guy behind a mask and...
BREAKING: Gretchen Whitmer denies that she is George Santos dressed in drag
EAST LANSING, MI—Another chapter in the ongoing George Santos (R-NY) drama has unfolded as rumors swirled around him allegedly dressing...
SCARY: These are the lungs of 7-year-old who grew up in a home with a gas oven
Just look at this picture to see what the lungs of an unvaccinated person. I don’t know how you can...
NZ Prime Minister Ardern steps down to pursue her dream of racing in the Kentucky Derby
Jacinda Ardern has announced she will quit as New Zealand prime minister next month, saying she wants to pursue her...
AOC defends Biden money laundering because ‘there’s so many germs on money’
WASHINGTON, DC—After learning that Joe Biden was laundering money through Ukraine and his son Hunter Biden, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez defended...
NEW: Tesla rolls out electric F-15 to meet surging demand
AUSTIN—Electric car maker Tesla has rolled out the new electric fighter jet F-15 to meet surging demand after President* Biden...
WEF unveils bathrooms for both men and lizard people at 2023 conference
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND—The World Economic Forum held in Davos every year is getting new bathrooms which will be used by both...
AOC recommends burning books instead of using gas stoves to cook
WASHINGTON, DC—Heated remarks continue in the 'stove wars' as Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) mocked Republicans on Thursday evening for their 'meltdown' over...
