Dollar Tree renamed ‘Buck-Fifty Bush’ amid skyrocketing inflation
US—U.S. inflation surged to a new four-decade high in June because of rising prices for gas, food and rent, squeezing household...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Unvaxxed, unhealthy, sick, risk to all of society, person wins Wimbledon
WIMBLEDON, ENGLAND—An unhealthy, unvaxxed, sick, risk to society somehow won one of the most grueling sporting events in the world:...
Experts agree this is how the US will look in 3 years if we don’t reverse climate change now
US—In an utterly horrifying projection, experts across the client science field agreed that this picture is how the US will...
Justin Trudeau gives touching homage to former Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe
OTTAWA—World leaders past and present expressed shock and sadness at the death of former Japanese prime minister Shinzo Abe, who was...
Megan Rapinoe bravely stands on American flag while receiving the Presidential Medal of Honor
WASHINGTON, DC—Soccer player Megan Rapinoe bravely stood on an American flag while receiving the Presidential Medal of Honor from President*...
New FBI Child ID App lets you upload pics of your kids directly to Hunter Biden’s laptop
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the stunning success covering up for President* Joe Biden's son Hunter's laptop full of child pornography, the FBI...
BREAKING: FBI arrest person of interest in 4th of July shooting at Highland Park
CHICAGO—Federal authorities have identified a person of interest in the Highland Park, Illinois, 4th of July parade shooting as 89-year-old Gertrude...
Dems file articles of impeachment against US Founding Fathers for inciting insurrection
WASHINGTON, DC—Flanked by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff and a number of other top Democrats...
BREAKING: Biden cancels 4th of July for being transphobic
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has canceled the Fourth of July national holiday for being transphobic. "Since there were only CIS-gendered...
BREAKING: January 6 Commission to charge US Founding Fathers with ‘insurrection’; return colonies to Britain
WASHINGTON, DC—The esteemed House select committee announced it would hold a surprise hearing on July 4 to present new evidence that recently...
