Chicago Mayor to Texas Gov: ‘How dare you send illegals to my city that openly welcomes them!’
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot blasted Texas Governor Greg Abbott for bussing illegal immigrants to Chicago, which openly welcomes them. “How dare...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
BREAKING: Biden to hire unemployed Antifa activists to put all political opponents in prison
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden will be hiring unemployed Antifa activists to round up political opponents in order to ship them...
BREAKING: Biden invades Poland
PHILADELPHIA—President* Biden addressed hecklers and brought a firm and direct tone to Thursday night's "battle for the soul of the nation"...
Biden sacrifices two goats to Moloch in speech on ‘Battle for the soul of America’
PHILADELPHIA—President* Joe Biden delivered his boldest move for the soul of America, sacrificing two goats to Moloch during his speech on...
California mandates gas generators to charge electric vehicles amid strained power grid
SACRAMENTO—California Governor Gavin Newsom has signed a law requiring electric vehicle owners to buy mobile gas generators to charge their...
Novak Djokovic enters U.S. through Southern border so he doesn’t have to be vaccinated
US—Tennis superstar Novak Djokovic has entered the United States through the Southern border with thousands of illegal immigrants so he...
Ocasio-Cortez to overturn the law of gravity because it’s ‘oppressing us’
WASHINGTON, DC—Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez made another bold legislative move promising to overturn the law of gravity because, "it's oppressing us." "When...
FACT-CHECK: Beto did not contract monkeypox from that gay orgy on the campaign trail
EL PASO, TX—Democratic hopeful for Texas Governor Beto O’Rourke announced via Twitter on Aug. 28, 2022, that he had to...
Lizzo urges fans to vote to overturn the law of gravity which is ‘oppressing us’
US—Obese singer Lizzo used her moment in the spotlight at MTV’s Video Music Awards (VMAs) to urge her fans to...
Paul Pelosi rushes to take out millions in student loans before Biden makes you pay for them
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Paul Pelosi, husband of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has rushed to take out several million dollars...
