BREAKING: Women with big hairy balls continue to dominate women without big hairy balls in sports
ATLANTA—Lia Thomas has become the first transgender athlete to win a National Collegiate Athletic Association swimming championship - but she...
Exavier Saskagoochie
Exavier is an excellent writer—tremendous. He's really very, very talented. And his hair is really great too. He should have a couple Pulitzers under his belt by now if there was any justice. If he brightened your day at all please consider tipping a coffee or a leg of mutton through this link!
EXCLUSIVE: Horrifying video shows Ukraine on fire after Russian attack
KYIV—Most of the news out of Ukraine has been fake, but Genesius Times has obtained an exclusive video of the...
Beto O’Rourke volunteers to fight for Ukraine with battalion of NERF gun sharpshooters
EL PASO—Failed presidential candidate Beto O'Rourke is flying to the Ukraine to join the fight against the Russians with a...
In response to Russian attack, Biden imposes several new sanctions on American citizens
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the further attack by Russia on Ukraine, the Biden administration announced new sanctions on American citizens, ensuring further...
American Fetuses identify as Ukrainians so that Democrats recognize their right to life
As many Democratic dominated state legislatures across the country push for extreme abortion deregulation including bills that would allow for...
BREAKING: Chicago cancels all drive-by shootings this week due to high gas prices
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot announced that all drive-by shootings will be suspended due to high gas prices. "I'm sorry to announce...
Biden announces new mandate requiring workers to show proof of support for Ukraine to keep job
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden administration ordered U.S. companies today to ensure their employees are fully supporting Ukraine by Jan. 4 or...
Biden Pentagon hires Jussie Smollett to fake a Russian attack on US
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has been looking for an excuse to go to war with Russia since he took office....
BREAKING: Jussie Smollett claims white supremacists killed him in jail last night
CHICAGO—Actor Jussie Smollett, who was sentenced to months in prison for faking a hate crime yesterday, now claims that members...
Buttigieg recommends a ‘horse and buggy’ for those who can’t afford gas right now
WASHINGTON, DC—Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg said that those unable to pay the high gas prices caused by inflation and the...
