Biden to mandate 12-month paid vacation for all American workers
WASHINGTON, DC—In preparation of Biden taking office this week, the transition team has released a partial list of legislative items...
Business
BREAKING: Biden proposes raising minimum wage to $1,000,000 an hour
WASHINGTON, DC—President-Elect Joe Biden announced today that on day one of his presidency, he’ll pass an executive order raising the...
Trump to be replaced with Biden in controversial ‘Home Alone 2’ scene
HOLLYWOOD—President Trump is losing the White House to Joe Biden. And now Trump will lose his place in “Home Alone...
BREAKING: New York sues Trump for making America too great
NEW YORK—New York Attorney General Letitia James announced today that once Trump leaves office, she’ll be launching a criminal investigation...
To promote gender equity, US Post Office now offering two delivery options: mail and femail
WASHINGTON, DC—The U.S. Postal Service announced that starting today, it’ll be offering two delivery options: mail and femail. “The Post...
BREAKING: Twitter CEO caught shooting messenger pigeons sent by the Trump Team
NEW YORK--Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey was caught shooting messenger pigeons being send by the Trump Team at Trump Tower. The...
Biden taps Zuckerberg and Dorsey to head new Ministry of Truth Department
U.S.—After Facebook C.E.O. Mark Zuckerberg and Twitter C.E.O. Jack Dorsey removed President Trump from their social media platforms, President Elect...
BREAKING: South Dakota secedes to get more COVID relief money from US government
PIERRE, SD—The state of South Dakota has officially seceded from the Union and created a new country called The Republic...
Not good: Biden seen reading ‘The Presidency for Dummies’
WASHINGTON, DC—Everyone knows that Joe Biden has been in office since the end of the Civil War, and you’d think...
Joe Biden releases new book: ‘How to Unite with Stupid, Inbred, Racist Nazis’
WILMINGTON, DE—In order to unite the country as promised, self-proclaimed President-elect Joe Biden is taking his campaign rhetoric to the...
