Secret Service hires Nepali sherpa to carry Biden up and down White House stairs
NEPAL—The United States Secret Service announced today that they have added a Nepali Sherpa named Norbu to the President’s security...
Business
AOC: If socialism is so bad, why did over 100 million people sacrifice their lives for it in the 20th century?
Deep Thoughts by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez If recent trends over the past few years are any indication, it’s that socialism is...
BREAKING: Democrats agree to let you have some of your money in $1.9 trillion relief package
WASHINGTON, DC—Democrats in control of both houses of Congress and the White House recently passed the $1.9 trillion relief package,...
Call for recently laid off HuffPo writers
Dear laid off Huffington Post writers, we know you're hurt and struggling in this time of flux, but there are...
White House demands removal of offensive new Dr. Seuss books
WASHINGTON, DC—White House personnel were infuriated to learn of new offensive Dr. Seuss books to replace the old offensive Dr....
ALERT: Pillsbury Doughboy reported missing
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—General Mills representative and pastry enthusiast, the Pillsbury Doughboy, has been reported missing to the authorities. Police are not...
Biden taps gender-neutral Potato Head as Agriculture Secretary
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has selected the new gender-neutral Potato Head toy as Secretary of Agriculture, enabling him to check several...
Biden to target more women in his Syrian airstrikes than any previous president
WASHINGTON, DC—Worried about claims that his first military action as commander in chief would unfairly leave out females, President Biden...
Coca-Cola unveils new logo without any white
ATLANTA—In an effort to stay ahead of the woke curve, progressive soft drink company Coca-Cola has introduced its new logo,...
AOC unveils plan to fix Texas’s energy problems
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has suggested the answer to the near total failure of green energy in Texas...
