Biden cancels Dr. Seuss after repeatedly failing ‘The Cat’s Quizzer’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has canceled Dr. Seuss after repeatedly failing "The Cat's Quizzer" trivia book. "That stuff is really hard...
Entertainment
Biden taps gender-neutral Potato Head as Agriculture Secretary
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has selected the new gender-neutral Potato Head toy as Secretary of Agriculture, enabling him to check several...
OJ Simpson teams with Hillary Clinton to write ‘If I Did It 2’
CHAPPAQUA, NY—In a sequel to his 2007 hit book If I Did It, OJ Simpson is teaming with Hillary Clinton...
BREAKING: President playing games while Americans die is heartwarming now
(CNN) Americans are dying at unprecedented levels from that scary disease. But now and for the foreseeable future, any time...
Emmy winner Andrew Cuomo to star in new sitcom ‘How I Killed Your Grandmother’
NEW YORK—Emmy award winner and New York Governor landed a great role in the new sitcom "How I Killed Your...
Donald Trump is the first back-to-back impeachment champion ever
WASHINGTON, DC—There has never been a two-time, let alone a back-to-back impeachment champion until now. Donald Trump has defeated the...
Disney gives all princesses a brave makeover to fight wrongthink
VISTA DE MAL, CA—In its campaign to fight wrongthink, Disney has given all of their celebrated princesses a stunning and...
Disney fires Jabba the Hutt after controversial tweets
VISTA DE MAL—"Jabba the Hutt is not currently employed by Lucasfilm and there are no plans for him to be...
BREAKING: The Dallas Mavericks secede from the United States
DALLAS—NBA team the Dallas Mavericks, led by owner Mark Cuban, have seceded from the United States. Cuban on Tuesday told...
To be more inclusive, Disney fires only woman on ‘The Mandalorian’
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—In an effort to be more inclusive, Disney has fired Gina Carano, the only female on their...
