Biden calls up National Guard to protect against the growing threat of Dr. Seuss
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has called up the National Guard to protect the entire country against the vicious new threat of...
Entertainment
White House demands removal of offensive new Dr. Seuss books
WASHINGTON, DC—White House personnel were infuriated to learn of new offensive Dr. Seuss books to replace the old offensive Dr....
Biden cancels Dr. Seuss after repeatedly failing ‘The Cat’s Quizzer’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has canceled Dr. Seuss after repeatedly failing "The Cat's Quizzer" trivia book. "That stuff is really hard...
Biden taps gender-neutral Potato Head as Agriculture Secretary
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden has selected the new gender-neutral Potato Head toy as Secretary of Agriculture, enabling him to check several...
OJ Simpson teams with Hillary Clinton to write ‘If I Did It 2’
CHAPPAQUA, NY—In a sequel to his 2007 hit book If I Did It, OJ Simpson is teaming with Hillary Clinton...
BREAKING: President playing games while Americans die is heartwarming now
(CNN) Americans are dying at unprecedented levels from that scary disease. But now and for the foreseeable future, any time...
Emmy winner Andrew Cuomo to star in new sitcom ‘How I Killed Your Grandmother’
NEW YORK—Emmy award winner and New York Governor landed a great role in the new sitcom "How I Killed Your...
Donald Trump is the first back-to-back impeachment champion ever
WASHINGTON, DC—There has never been a two-time, let alone a back-to-back impeachment champion until now. Donald Trump has defeated the...
Disney gives all princesses a brave makeover to fight wrongthink
VISTA DE MAL, CA—In its campaign to fight wrongthink, Disney has given all of their celebrated princesses a stunning and...
Disney fires Jabba the Hutt after controversial tweets
VISTA DE MAL—"Jabba the Hutt is not currently employed by Lucasfilm and there are no plans for him to be...
