BREAKING: Amber Heard successfully resists urge to poop all over courtroom floor
Amber Heard has successfully resisted the urge to defecate all over the courtroom floor while on the stand in her...
Culture
Biden declares war on the Ultra Mega Super Actors
Washington - President Joe Biden declared war on the Ultra-Mega Super Actors this morning. Calling them the most devastating legion...
BREAKING: AOC says she was killed by leaked SCOTUS decision and is now dead
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued a statement that she was “literally killed” by the leaked SCOTUS decision...
Dozens protest attack on women’s rights without being able to define ‘women’
WASHINGTON, DC—Dozens of protesters descended on the nation's capital to protest an attack on women's rights despite not being able...
Hillary wears dress dyed with the blood of her victims to the Met Gala
NEW YORK—Former Presidential Candidate Hillary Clinton wore a dress dyed with the blood of her victims to the 2022 Met...
Women rushing to get pregnant so they can have abortion before SCOTUS overturns Roe
US—Women everywhere are rushing to get pregnant so they can have an abortion out of fear SCOTUS will overturn Roe...
DHS hiring unemployed Antifa activists for new fascist Thought Police brigade
WASHINGTON, DC—Nothing says “anti-fascism” quite like enforcing the disinformation policy of the government. That’s what thousands of newly employed Antifa...
Elon Musk buys Kim Kardashian and Kanye West to fix their marriage
Elon Musk announced his most recent multi-billion dollar purchases: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. “I invested in the West-Kardashian marriage...
Violators of Biden’s new disinformation policy will be forced to listen to Nina Jankowicz sing for 66 straight hours
US—When DHS Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas announced the Biden administration's Disinformation Governance Board this week, it was unclear exactly what penalty...
CNN introduces CNN- where users can pay $99 a month to not see any CNN content
ATLANTA—Following the demise of the streaming service CNN+, CNN is introducing CNN- where users can pay $15 a month to...
