General Mills says Lucky Charms ‘contaminant’ is actually 100% organic Leprechaun feces
MINNEAPOLIS—General Mills, the makers of the ‘Lucky Charms’ cereal, are reassuring their customers that the blame for any contamination of...
Culture
DC Mayor to Texas Gov: ‘How dare you send illegals to my city that openly welcomes them!’
WASHINGTON, DC—Mayor Muriel Bowser blasted Texas Governor Greg Abbott for bussing illegal immigrants to the nation's capital. "How dare you...
BREAKING: DC erects border wall around city to keep Texas from sending illegal immigrants there
WASHINGTON, DC—Mayor Muriel "Bow Wow" Bowser has erected a border wall around the perimeter of the nation's capital to keep...
I’m going on a hunger strike if Elon Musk takes over Twitter
I haven't written in a few months because I've been paralyzed with fear that my lone outlet in the world...
SCIENCE: CIS men are actually transmen trapped in the bodies of transwomen-the most oppressed group ever
ST. LOUIS—In a new Pew Pew study that will surely lead to the self-immolation of thousands of social justice warriors,...
Spotify removes all songs about women because ‘none of these artists are biologists’
NEW YORK—Spotify is taking action to remove all hateful music about women because "none of these artists are biologists," a...
BREAKING: Disney buys ‘Epstein Island’ for new kids-only theme park
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—Disney has purchased the controversial island owned by convicted pedophile and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. The company...
BREAKING: Elon Musk invades Twitter; workers barricade themselves on 8th floor, plead for Biden to declare ‘no buy’ zone
SAN FRANCISCO—Twitter employees at the Market St. headquarters stacked furniture, shelving and anything they could find against office doors, determined...
BREAKING: Colorado mandates everyone in the state has at least one abortion a year
DENVER—In response to the anti-abortion bill in Oklahoma, Colorado legislators have passed a bill mandating that every Coloradan get at...
Russian Joker spotted in Ukraine
KYIV, UKRAINE—How far will the Russian ‘Joker’ go, carrying out his mad plan?Will the ‘batshit crazy virus’ inside his head...
