New ‘Santifa’ cards include explosives instead of glitter
Looking for a clever way to celebrate the holidays in 2021? Look no further! The new Santifa cards come with...
Religion
BREAKING: Biden to replace Christmas with 12 variants of Coronamas
WASHINGTON, DC—Due to the rise of gas prices, an increase in inflation, and overall economic failure, the the Biden administration...
Modern-day Hanukkah miracle: Local man fills up car with enough oil to last 1 day, lasts 8 days
Local New York City resident Isaac Goldberg is very familiar with Hanukkah, having celebrated the holiday since he was a...
CNN: Taliban conducts mostly peaceful beheadings, rapes after retaking Afghanistan
(CNN) Afghanistan citizens face mostly peaceful executions, beheadings, and violent rapes of adolescent women as the Taliban sweeps across the...
Latin Mass Catholics change their name to ‘Latinx’ to get support from Pope Francis
THE VATICAN—Following a clamp down by Pope Francis on the Latin Mass in the church, traditional Catholics are fighting back....
‘I have never but once prayed to God: O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And He granted it.’
I have some great quotes but this one is probably the best! "I have never made but one prayer to...
BREAKING: Biden declares Branch Covidians official state religion; will persecute non-believers
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden, in conjunction with the future President* Kamala Harris, has declared that Fauciism is the new state...
Iran scuttles navy ship Kharg after learning it was gay
The Muslim dictatorship formally known as Persia is still supporting proxy wars around the world, and persecuting Christians, for which...
BREAKING: G-D comes out as gender neutral, pronouns are they/them
HEAVEN—Heavenly sources confirmed today that G-D has come out as gender neutral, and Their preferred pronouns are They/Them. They Themselves...
Here are 7 ways to end the Israeli-Palestinian conflict
The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is as old as American pie. OK, maybe not that old, but it sure seems that way....
