CDC warns that COVID death toll may surpass Clinton body count
ATLANTA—As coronavirus cases have continued to rise in the U.S. throughout the summer, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention...
Health
Archeologists discover first probable coronavirus victim
ATLANTA—Archeologists working in coordination with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have discovered the first probably coronavirus victim...
Dozens of cardboard sports fans have died from COVID-19 already
TORONTO—Dozens of fake cardboard and mannequin sports fans have died from COVID-19 since being used to make sports look somewhat...
COVID-19 down in Sweden thanks to invisible face masks
STOCKHOLM—The nation of Sweden has embarked on a very different response to the COVID-19 pandemic. Many other nations have taken...
Local woman narrowly avoids giving herself COVID driving alone in the country
A local woman who wished to go by the name Karen only narrowly avoided giving herself COVID-19 while driving alone...
CDC predicts COVID will die out abruptly November 4th
ATLANTA—The CDC has assured the public that the COVID-19 virus will no longer pose a threat greater than the regular...
CDC: Current outbreak of stupidity may be worse than the outbreak of coronavirus
The CDC has released an official statement on the recent outbreak of stupidity that is threatening to overtake the coronavirus...
Gates says he will release a deadlier virus if people don’t take his first one seriously enough
SEATTLE—Tech founder and worldwide supervillain Bill Gates says that he will "release a deadlier virus" if people don't take his...
AOC disgusted to learn Epstein excluded people of color from sex trafficking ring
NEW YORK—US Representative for New York, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was horrified to learn that Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell instructed one...
Democrats outraged as Fauci grilled on Capitol Hill
Washington, DC—What started out as a normal day on Capital Hill ended in disarray. The tension of the recent event...
