US ‘very worried’ Russia may seize US bioweapons labs in Ukraine that don’t exist
WASHINGTON, DC—Government officials are "very worried" that Russia may seize US bioweapons labs in Ukraine that don't exist. "Do we...
Politics
Biden bans buying oil from Russia; mandates buying Russian oil from China marked up 10%
WASHINGTON, DC—US President* Joe Biden announced Tuesday the U.S. will ban all oil imports from Russia and require imports of...
Buttigieg wears fabulous Marie Antoinette dress in energy event: ‘Let them drive electric’
WASHINGTON, DC—Look out red carpet! US Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg wore a fabulous dress owned by the one and only...
Putin opens Uyghur concentration camp to make everyone like him again
MOSCOW—After receiving widespread condemnation for his invasion of Ukraine, Russian President Vladimir Putin has opened up Russia's very own Uyghur...
BREAKING: EU leaders explain to Biden why Wile E. Coyote will never catch Roadrunner
U.S. President Biden, in using the cartoon ‘Roadrunner’ as an analogy for the Russian, Ukraine war attempted to illustrate several...
BREAKING: Florida invades Ukraine so that CNN will leave them too
TALLAHASSEE—The state of Florida has invaded the sovereign nation of Ukraine so that CNN will leave them too. Florida also...
Hunter Biden promises to return his 2 Russian mail-order brides amidst sanctions
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden's son Hunter promised to return his Russian mail-order brides amidst his father's sanctions on the country. "I...
CNN threatens to stop delivering fake news to Russia if they don’t withdraw from Ukraine
ATLANTA—The leader of fake news distribution in the West, CNN, is threatening to stop delivering their disinformation to Russia if...
Biden won’t come out from under bed; White House to try ice cream cone
Washington DC—President Biden, apparently shaken by the Russian invasion and the threat of a Chinese invasion is refusing to come...
Biden asks for $10 billion for ‘big, beautiful’ border wall for Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has asked Congress for $10 billion to build what he calls a "big, beautiful" border wall...
