BREAKING: AOC Barely Survives Murder Attempt by Maskless Neil Gorsuch
WASHINGTON, DC—Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch remains at large after a blatant attempt to assassinate Congresswoman and January 6 hero,...
Politics
After being caught with locket of hair in mask, White House confirms Biden’s sniffing addiction
(CNN) The White House today has confirmed President* Joe Biden's hair sniffing addiction after he was caught with a locket...
BREAKING: Virginia’s new governor supports full facial nudity at schools
RICHMOND, VA—Virginia's new Republican governor, Glenn Youngkin, supports full facial nudity at schools from Kindergarten up to high school, according...
Modern Fuhrer magazine ranks top Hitlers of 2022; Hitler comes in 5th, George Washington still #1
Modern Fuhrer magazine’s new Hitlers Ranked poll finds George Washington is still in first place, surprisingly, Hitler himself has dropped...
Virginia’s new governor recklessly allows children to breathe freely all day
(CNN) We knew it would be bad, but we didn't know it would be this bad. Virginia's new Republican Governor...
Biden changes name to Emperor Palbiden, establishes Galactic Empire
WASHINGTON, DC—In a rare press conference, President* Biden said that he has officially changed his name to Emperor Palbiden and...
Biden to build new border wall to protect Americans from ‘American’ts’
Washington D.C. - “There’s good walls and there’s bad walls.” President Joe Biden announced last night at a fund raiser...
Biden deploys 2 AT-ATs to defend White House against ‘rebel scum’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden has deployed two All Terrain Armored Transport (AT-AT) vehicles to the White House to defend against "rebel...
Count Chocula endorses Gavin Newsom for 2024 presidential run
SACRAMENTO—Is Governor Gavin Newsom throwing his hat in the ring for the 2024 presidential election? We don’t know the answer...
BREAKING: Supreme Court rules the Constitution doesn’t apply to nurses
US—The US Supreme Court had ruled that the Constitution doesn't apply to healthcare workers and that nurses and physicians can...
