BREAKING: Trans shaman who stormed Kentucky Capitol building sentenced to zero years in prison
In a surprising turn of events, the self-proclaimed trans shaman who led an insurrection at the Kentucky state capitol has...
Politics
New Chicago Mayor vows to fix all the damage done by the last Republican mayor in 1931
CHICAGO—In a recent press conference, newly elected Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson announced his ambitious plan to fix all the damage...
BREAKING: Navy promotes drag queen recruiter to Rear Admiral
In a groundbreaking move that is sure to raise a well-manicured eyebrow or two, the United States Navy has proudly...
Depressed New Yorkers look for alternative methods of suicide after gas stoves are banned starting in 2026
NEW YORK—In a blow to the depressed people of New York, the State Legislature banned gas stoves in most new...
Air Force One draws giant penis in the sky to signify that Biden is screwing America
US—In a shocking display of aerial artwork, Air Force One recently made headlines as it drew a giant, unmistakable image...
BREAKING: Anti-fascist Democrats excited for government to bail out failing banks
In a surprising twist of irony, anti-fascist Democrats across the country are eagerly anticipating President Joe Biden's decision to bail...
OH NO! AOC left dangling when staffers forget to take her out of the congressional Jumperoo
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, affectionately known as AOC, found herself in quite the predicament when her staffers forgot to remove...
OP-ED: I Failed My Math Exam. This Is Why We Need Common Sense Pencil Control.
I received a failing grade on a recent math exam in school and as you can imagine, I’m livid. I...
Biden DOJ investigating if Nashville cops committed hate crime by misgendering trans school shooter
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden Department of Justice (DOJ) has announced an investigation into whether Nashville law enforcement committed a hate crime...
BREAKING: Biden shocked to learn he’s running for president again in 2024
In a stunning turn of events, President Joe Biden reportedly had a major "uh-oh" moment when he learned that he...
