Religion

Amazon’s ‘The Lord of the Rings: Rings of Power’ replaces all villains with Putin

Bubbaken Managua April 5, 2022

HOLLYWOOD—The multi-million dollar TV series Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power is set to enlighten us in September...

China tests new ‘Kamikaze 737’ jet with 130 Uyghurs onboard as possible Muslim ‘final solution’

Gumpers March 22, 2022

SOUTH CHINA—If you are one of 12 million Chinese Uyghurs and you win a free trip to Disneyland you might...

Biden receives ashes from Church of Planned Parenthood on Ash Wednesday

Exavier Saskagoochie March 2, 2022

WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden received ashes from the Church of Planned Parenthood on Ash Wednesday. The tradition started several years...

BREAKING: Devil sues Catholic Church for defamation claiming ‘Enough is enough’

Gumpers January 13, 2022

VATICAN—Lawyers for the Devil have filed a 500 billion € lawsuit against the Catholic Church for defamation of character, restriction...

French PM Macron face masks can stop guillotines

Exavier Saskagoochie January 11, 2022

PARIS—Anti-tyranny protesters rallied in cities across France on Saturday, denouncing President Emmanuel Macron and threatening to "get Enlightenmented on his...

NY 911 switchboards swamped with Betty White sightings

Gumpers January 7, 2022

NEW YORK—Authorities are recommending to keep a safe distance if you see someone you think is Betty White. Spokesperson for...

Pope Francis now requiring ‘booster baptisms’ for Catholics to be considered fully baptized

Exavier Saskagoochie January 5, 2022

VATICAN—Pope Francis has proclaimed that all Catholics worldwide will now need a booster baptism to be considered fully baptized. "We...

Saudis open new Hajj park in Switzerland around the Matterhorn

Gumpers January 3, 2022

MATTERHORN, SWITZERLAND—How much more enjoyable will the Hadj be with hot cocoa? This once-in-a-lifetime pilgrimage, a mandatory religious duty for...