BREAKING: We must force-dorf the undorfed to dorf the dorfed with the dorf that didn’t dorf the dorfed
US—A new study was just released showing that we must force-dorf the undorfed in order to dorf the dorfed with...
Science
Biden mandates shoving marbles up everyone’s asses after tweet by Nicki Minaj
WASHINGTON, DC--President* Biden has issued a rare edict mandating that all Americans have marbles shoved up their asses to fight...
You idiots need to wear seatbelts so that my seatbelt will work
I don't know who needs to hear this but you idiots need to use your seatbelts so that mine will...
BREAKING: Biden mandates proof of vaccination or proof you’re an illegal alien to keep working
WASHINGTON, DC—He tried encouraging. He tried cajoling. He tried dangling gifts and all manner of incentives. But eight months into...
No you DON’T have a right to privacy with vaccines, that only applies to killing babies
I don't know who needs to hear this, but you DO NOT have a right to privacy about your vaccination...
The Institute of Unfinished Research has determined that 6 out of 10 people
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA--A new study published by the Institute of Unfinished Research has determined that 6 out of 10 people....
Harvard elects first brainless man as provost
In an unprecedented move, the elite Ivy League university has selected a man without a brain to lead the school's...
Healthy, vaccinated woman who died of COVID blamed unvaccinated for her illness
US—A local healthy and fully-vaccinated 40-year-old woman, Kristie Kreme, recently contracted and died from COVID-19. Her family says that she...
AOC sees nothing wrong with using horse paste to treat COVID
WASHINGTON, DC—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has stepped out into the firing lines and defended the use of ivermectin horse paste...
BREAKING: Taliban to combat climate change by killing all dissenters who breathe
KABUL, AFGHANISTAN—The Taliban has vowed to tackle climate change as part of the terror group's attempt to rebrand itself and modernize. A spokesman...
