BREAKING: Walls work now
WASHINGTON, DC—After years of telling people that walls do not work to keep people out of the United States, Democrats...
World
BREAKING: Biden to build wall along entire coastline to fight rising sea levels
Washington, DC—Joe Biden signaled that the environment will be at the heart of the next administration as he unveiled a...
BREAKING: New York sues Trump for making America too great
NEW YORK—New York Attorney General Letitia James announced today that once Trump leaves office, she’ll be launching a criminal investigation...
BREAKING: Democrats promise to not steal anymore elections once they have all the power
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats have officially promised to not steal anymore elections once they have all the power. "We pinky swear...
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez suggests nuking sun at night when it’s colder to fight climate change
NEW YORK CITY—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez took the internet by storm today when she suggested that the federal government should nuke...
CNN: Trump promises peaceful transition of power, just like Hitler
(CNN) President Trump has officially promised a peaceful transition of power, just like Hitler. I’m actually being dead serious about...
BREAKING: Trump says he won’t leave White House because of ban on evictions
WASHINGTON, DC—President Trump issued a statement saying that he won't leave the White House next week when his term ends...
BREAKING: Congress asks protesters to obey the law so Congress can get back to breaking the law
WASHINGTON, DC—Members of Congress have pleaded with the protesters at the US Capitol to obey the rule of law so...
Georgia official assures voters no one has stolen any election after this one
ATLANTA—Georgia election officials assured voters that they won't steal anymore elections after this one. "Let me be absolutely clear. The...
Mayor De Blasio renames Manhattan to Womanhattan
NEW YORK CITY—Not to be outdone by the stunning and brave US Congress, which has eliminated all gendered terms in...
