Democrats push to make Palestinian Territories 51st state of the Union
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats proposed a House Resolution today which would make the Palestinian Territories the 51st state of the Union....
World
BREAKING: Pope Francis names George Floyd patron saint of fentanyl
THE VATICAN—Pope Francis announced today that following the conviction of Derek Chauvin, George Floyd was a martyr of social justice...
Iranian government hires Kerry as new propaganda minister
TEHRAN, IRAN—Iranian President Hassan Rouhani announced today via Twitter that the Iranian government has hired John Kerry as its new...
Californian arrested for expressing wrong political opinion
LOS ANGELES, CA—The Los Angeles Police Department arrested local LA resident Max Summers earlier today for expressing the wrong political...
BREAKING: Prince Phillip has information that will lead to Hillary Clinton’s arrest
LONDON—Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh, has information that will lead to the arrest and conviction of Hillary Clinton, sources close...
MLB changes name to Baseball League Matters in response to protest
ATLANTA—Major League Baseball (MLB) has changed its name to Baseball League Matters (BLM) in response to the protest of its...
Lightfoot reminds Chicagoans to mask up this weekend to keep everyone safe while shooting each other
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot made a public announcement, reminding Chicagoans to wear a mask this weekend to keep everyone safe while...
Biden: ‘I’m very excited to have Transformers in the US Military’
WASHINGTON, DC—President Joe Biden was excited to hear that, "the US Military would be allowing Transformers to serve," overturning a...
Biden hires the Wizard of Oz to interpret his immigration policy
WASHINGTON, DC—No one is quite sure what US President Joe Biden's immigration policy is, least of all, the president himself....
Portland offers free hits of crack with proof of COVID vaccination
PORTLAND, OR—Residents of Portland are lining up to receive their free hits of crack rock—a little extra incentive for receiving...
