Hey RFK Jr., Hands Off! Why Poison in Our Food Is Actually Good 
Millions of new tariff experts unsure how to pay off their student loan debt 
Climate activists protest Elon Musk by sending ‘NO DOGE’ smoke signals up from burning Tesla batteries 
AOC: Only Illegal Immigrants Should Get Due Process Because they Broke the Law to be Here So Clearly They Really Want It 
BREAKING: Katy Perry declares herself pope after reading the Bible for 11 minutes 
Lyft launches ‘Forklyft’: the Ride-Sharing Service for the Morbidly Obese
In an unexpected twist following the recent lawsuit filed by Detroit rapper Dank Demoss against Lyft, the ride-sharing giant has...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Hundreds protest US in support of the countries they don’t want to go back to
US—Hundreds in several cities around the US took to the streets this weekend to protest Donald Trump's deportation and immigration...
BREAKING: Christine Blasey-Ford reveals Kash Patel & Tulsi Gabbard raped her in 7th grade
CALIFORNIA—In a startling new development, Christine Blasey-Ford, who previously testified during the contentious 2018 Supreme Court confirmation hearings of Brett...
AOC horrified by new ICE detention facilities popping up everywhere
After being horrified by the ICE detention facility parking lot last year, Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has been stricken with PTSD...
BREAKING: Taylor Swift is going to the Super Bowl her second straight year after being drafted by the Kansas City Chiefs
KANSAS CITY—Pop icon Taylor Swift is set to make her second consecutive Super Bowl appearance, this time not just as...
BREAKING: Trump repeals 21st Amendment, replaces all alcohol with Diet Coke
WASHINGTON DC—In a move that has left the nation both parched and puzzled, former President Donald Trump, now serving his...
BREAKING: ‘Walls are un-Christian’ says Pope Francis from inside his walled fortress
VATICAN CITY – Speaking from the safety of the Vatican's towering walls, Pope Francis delivered a powerful sermon this week,...
BREAKING: Billionaires fly private jets to Davos to lecture everyone else about reducing your emissions
DAVOS, SWITZERLAND—Hundreds of the world's richest people have flown their private jets to this luxury Alpine ski resort in order...
BREAKING: Mitch McConnell blinks twice to indicate his no vote for Pete Hegseth
WASHINGTON, DC—In a historic moment that left the Senate chamber in a state of confusion, former Senate Majority Leader Mitch...
Harry Sisson accuses Lily Phillips of stealing his idea to sleep with over 100 men in a day
The adult entertainment industry has been rocked by a fresh scandal as Harry Sisson publicly accuses OnlyFans star Lily Phillips...
