Elon Musk needs to stop doing amazing things because it’s making us gender studies triple-doctorates feel worthless 
BREAKING: Trump considering replacing Federal Reserve with much more reliable Magic 8 Ball 
BREAKING: Dems cheer Laken Riley’s murder As ‘A very, very late term abortion’ 
White House: Nuclear Armageddon was always a key part of Biden’s ‘Build Back Better’ agenda 
Transwomen complain about uniforms crushing their balls during dominating performance 
BREAKING: Scientists have finally isolated ‘pure cringe’ and have immediately started using it in the Harris-Walz campaign
In a groundbreaking discovery that could only be described as "nails on a chalkboard for the soul," a team of...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Mayorkas says that FEMA has investigated itself and found it has done nothing wrong
WASHINGTON, DC—In a development sure to restore America’s unwavering confidence in government self-oversight, Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas triumphantly announced...
Climate Goddess Greta Thunberg declares Hurricane Milton will spare followers’ homes if they paint their doors with aborted fetus blood
Climate Goddess Greta Thunberg has issued an urgent decree to her devout followers: **Hurricane Milton will bypass their homes—**if they...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris bravely returns to site of malfunctioning teleprompter
FLINT, MI—In what is being hailed as one of the most courageous acts of her political career, Vice President Kamala...
BREAKING: Kamala Harris shows off her favorite Glock to prove she’s not anti-gun
WASHINGTON, DC—In an unexpected and awkward press conference, Vice President Kamala Harris finally addressed her controversial comments about being a...
BREAKING: Tim Walz considers dropping out of presidential race after learning he might be sent to Battleground States
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Minnesota Governor Tim Walz is reportedly considering withdrawing from the 2024 presidential race after an unfortunate misunderstanding...
We need to let millions of foreigners vote this election because a majority of Americans don’t know what’s good for them obviously
Greetings, fellow Earthlings of all genders and species. I am Mx. Sandra Chou, PhD PhD, the most intersectionally progressive being...
Starbucks Unveils new ‘Kamala Word Salad’ with a few shreds of lettuce topped with verbal diarrhea
Starbucks, the coffee giant known for staying on the pulse of cultural trends, has unveiled its latest culinary masterpiece: the...
I’d Rather Have a Thermonuclear World War with Kamala Harris Than World Peace Under Trump
As the most intersectionally progressive person in the world, a transwoman trapped inside the body of a transman, I’ve seen...
JUST IN: Kamala Harris reassures Hurricane victims that she was the first VP to tour an abortion facility
In an emotional press conference today, Vice President Kamala Harris offered comfort to the victims of Hurricane Helene by reminding...
