CNN: Car mostly-peacefully drives itself into Magdeburg Christmas market 
‘Climate change is the single greatest threat to humanity’ says the guy who’s trying to start a global thermonuclear war 
Rep Crenshaw has started wearing 2 eye patches so he doesn’t have to read what’s being said about him on X 
BREAKING: Powell announces Federal Reserve has added Hawk Tuah Girl to advisory role 
BREAKING: WNBA’s Caitlin Clark to play in blackface to compensate for her white privilege 
BREAKING: Joe Biden re-enters presidential race after seeing Kamala Harris lose election
US—Joe Biden has announced that he will re-enter the presidential race after witnessing Kamala Harris's defeat in the 2024 election....
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Elon Musk opens salt mines sourced from liberal tears as Trump wins 2024 election
AUSTIN—Elon Musk has revealed that he has opened a new source of salt mines, which he claims are sourced entirely...
WARNING: Call your doctor if your election is painful or lasts longer than 4 days
US—Physicians across the country are recommending a little red pill that does wonders for your election but warn that if...
Several cities boarding up stores in preparation for massive ‘joy’ from Democrats in case Trump wins
PORTLAND—Several liberal cities across the United States have begun boarding up stores in preparation for the massive "joy" from Democrats...
How to Formalize a Family Loan
When money is tight, many people turn to family for help. Whether you need cash for an emergency, a down...
BREAKING: Peanut the squirrel teams up with Harambe to posthumously endorse Donald Trump
NEW YORK—The spirit of Peanut the Squirrel has teamed up with Harambe the gorilla to posthumously endorse former President Donald...
Local man lives in constant daylight after saving it for 12 years
A local man is living in constant daylight after saving it for 12 years. "I've done my work and I...
Frustrated SNL Writers Hoping Harris Does Something To Make Fun Of
SNL’s head writer Kahm Eddie Isded has a problem most comedy writers dream of: a Vice President so flawless she’s...
“Who Do I Have To Kill To Get Back On SNL?” Asks Hilarious Alec Baldwin
As Alec Baldwin’s infamous presence resurfaces, speculation mounts over how a man who has faced serious allegations can still confidently...
Biden back to anti-bite collar to protect babies
President* Joe Biden has been spotted wearing his anti-bite collar once again, as concerns grow over his interactions with young...
