BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
Paul Pelosi rushes to take out millions in student loans before Biden makes you pay for them
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Paul Pelosi, husband of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has rushed to take out several million dollars...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
JUST IN: Pfizer releases new delivery mechanism for monkeyox vaccines
US—After backlash over the news of the Pfizer vaccines and boosters, the pharmaceutical giant has released a new delivery method...
BREAKING: Biden to transfer all home mortgage loans to homeless people and renters
WASHINGTON, DC—Following the popular move to "forgive" student debt and transfer it to people who never went to college, President*...
BREAKING: Redacted FBI warrant for Mar-a-Lago raid just says ‘Orange Man Bad’
WASHINGTON, DC—The Justice Department released a sealed version of its proposed redactions to the FBI affidavit used to get a...
Biden clarifies that student loan forgiveness will only be for people with completely worthless degrees like ‘Gender Studies’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden clarified his student loan forgiveness program today, stating that it will only apply to people with completely...
Brittney Griner celebrates 140 days being drug-free
MOSCOW—WNBA superstar Brittney Griner celebrated 140 days being drug free today while serving a 9-year-sentence for possessing marijuana in Russia....
McConnell outraged at Biden canceling student debt: ‘We could have sent that $300B to Ukraine!’
WASHINGTON, DC—House Minority leader Mitch McConnell said he is outraged about President* Joe Biden’s student loan forgiveness, which he announced...
FBI: Trump was hiding Area 51 space aliens at Mar-a-Lago
MAR-A-LAGO, FL—Genesius Times has just received credible information that the wild speculation that the Mar-a-largo Raid was the result of...
‘I can’t afford my student loan’ woman wearing $1000 outfit tweets on $800 phone
Angry with the injustice of the financial system, fashionable local woman Charlie Burke hate tweeted, "I can't afford my student...
