BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Biden to replace Fauci with Dr. Jill Biden
WASHINGTON, DC—After hearing about the departure of Dr. Anthony Fauci from the NIAID and government service, President* Joe Biden promised...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Russians massacre innocent Ukrainian family in cold blood
KYIV—Russians have brutally massacred an innocent Ukrainian family for no reason as shown in a surveillance video. US President* Biden...
Branch Covidians hold candlelight vigil after learning Fauci will be stepping down
US—Adherents to the fastest growing religion in the country, the Branch Covidian cult, held candlelight vigils across the country after...
Amid skyrocketing inflation, Hunter Biden forced to pay 18% to ‘The Big Guy’
WASHINGTON, DC—No one is exempt from the skyrocketing inflation, including President* Joe Biden's son Hunter, who is now forced to...
BREAKING: Liz Cheney vows to keep fighting for the Uniparty following blowout loss
CHEYENNE, WY—US Representative. Liz Cheney (R-WY) vowed to keep fighting for the Uniparty in an exclusive interview with Genesius Times...
Biden: ‘FBI has enough evidence to indict Trump on charges of misdemeanor malarkey’
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden says that the FBI now has enough evidence to indict Trump on charges of misdemeanor malarkey....
BRAVE: Michelle Obama inspired a movement with the first Drag Queen Story Time
I don't care who you are but Michelle Obama inspired a movement in the first Drag Queen Story time narrator....
Local Leftist swaps ‘Defund the Police’ bumper sticker for ‘Support Your Local FBI’ sticker
US—A local leftist, Wankie McLittlejon, has finally switched his ‘Defund the Police’ bumper sticker to one that says ‘Support Your...
AOC reports she’s in stable condition after the assassination attempt on Salman Rushdie’s life
WASHINGTON, DC—US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has reported that she is in stable condition today after the assassination attempt on author...
BREAKING: Pope Francis bans all ‘assault rosaries’ from Catholic homes, churches
THE VATICAN—Following the Atlantic's article identifying the rosary as an "extremist" assault weapon, the Holy Father has moved to ban...
