Elon Musk needs to stop doing amazing things because it’s making us gender studies triple-doctorates feel worthless 
BREAKING: Trump considering replacing Federal Reserve with much more reliable Magic 8 Ball 
BREAKING: Dems cheer Laken Riley’s murder As ‘A very, very late term abortion’ 
White House: Nuclear Armageddon was always a key part of Biden’s ‘Build Back Better’ agenda 
Transwomen complain about uniforms crushing their balls during dominating performance 
BREAKING: Florida chooses possible starvation over vegan meats as Hurricane Milton approaches
Grocery shelves across Florida are closing up shop in preparation for a category 5 hurricane Milton. The ones that are...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
AOC: ‘These poor pumpkins have been drained of their spice by illegal poachers; this needs to stop!’
I don't know who needs to hear it, but pumpkin spice poaching is not okay. I just visited a field...
BREAKING: Korean flamethrower squirrels have reached the US
Hot on the heals of the dual plagues of COVID-19 and the Asian murder hornets, Korean flamethrower squirrels have reached...
BREAKING: Buttigieg requires all vehicles bringing aid to hurricane victims to be electric cars
In a bold and forward-thinking move that has left disaster relief teams scrambling, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg has announced that...
BREAKING: Truckers sneak hurricane relief into North Carolina by disguising aid as ‘Illegal Immigrants’ to outwit federal roadblocks
CHARLOTTE, NC — In a brazen display of disrespect to federal agencies, truckers across the U.S. have joined forces to...
Liz Cheney endorses Kamala Harris: ‘She will bomb countries I haven’t even thought of yet’
In a shocking twist that has sent shockwaves through the political universe and possibly several foreign nations, former Wyoming congresswoman...
BREAKING: In lieu of aid, Kamala Harris enrolls all victims of Hurricane Helene in the Jelly of the Month Club
In a move that has left hurricane victims across North Carolina both confused and sticky-handed, Vice President Kamala Harris announced...
BREAKING: Harris reassures North Carolina hurricane victims that the US will be donating another $200 billion to Ukraine in their name
AUGUSTA, GA—In a deeply emotional press conference today, Vice President Kamala Harris addressed the people of North Carolina who are...
BREAKING: Never-before-seen photo from Tiananmen Square Massacre shows Tim Walz doing weird dance in front of tanks before being run over
In a shocking historical twist that no one saw coming (except for those watching the tanks), a never-before-seen photo has...
BREAKING: Newsom signs bill requiring photo ID to criticize another bill that allows people to vote without photo ID
SACRAMENTO, CA—In a groundbreaking move designed to "protect the integrity of free speech," California Governor Gavin Newsom has signed a...
