BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Newsom declares state of emergency after Russia destroys several California cities
SACRAMENTO—The Russian offensive in Ukraine has spread to California as several cities have been utterly destroyed. California Governor Gavin Newsom...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Dead rabid fox who bit Democrats surges to lead in 2024 presidential poll
WASHINGTON, DC—The mother fox that bit at least nine Democrats near the U.S. Capitol and was euthanized shortly after has...
Spotify removes all songs about women because ‘none of these artists are biologists’
NEW YORK—Spotify is taking action to remove all hateful music about women because "none of these artists are biologists," a...
BREAKING: Disney buys ‘Epstein Island’ for new kids-only theme park
VISTA DEL MAL, CA—Disney has purchased the controversial island owned by convicted pedophile and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. The company...
NEW: Joe Biden diet and exercise program will take the pounds of in no time
Looking to lose weight and get healthy? We have the perfect diet and exercise plan for you: https://rumble.com/embed/vxbb1j/?pub=w2au8
BREAKING: Pelosi tests positive for COVID but is asymptomatic due to all the alcohol in her blood
WASHINGTON, DC—House Speaker Nancy Pelosi has tested positive for COVID-19, according to a statement the California Democrat released Thursday, but...
BREAKING: Elon Musk invades Twitter; workers barricade themselves on 8th floor, plead for Biden to declare ‘no buy’ zone
SAN FRANCISCO—Twitter employees at the Market St. headquarters stacked furniture, shelving and anything they could find against office doors, determined...
Biden’s puppet master revealed in heartwarming White House ceremony
WASHINGTON, DC—In a rare White House ceremony, the puppet master for President* Joe Biden was revealed to the world as...
BREAKING: Colorado mandates everyone in the state has at least one abortion a year
DENVER—In response to the anti-abortion bill in Oklahoma, Colorado legislators have passed a bill mandating that every Coloradan get at...
Russian Joker spotted in Ukraine
KYIV, UKRAINE—How far will the Russian ‘Joker’ go, carrying out his mad plan?Will the ‘batshit crazy virus’ inside his head...
