BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
Biden won’t come out from under bed; White House to try ice cream cone
Washington DC—President Biden, apparently shaken by the Russian invasion and the threat of a Chinese invasion is refusing to come...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Biden asks for $10 billion for ‘big, beautiful’ border wall for Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has asked Congress for $10 billion to build what he calls a "big, beautiful" border wall...
BREAKING: Queen, regretting loss of colonies, orders British tanks on Washington
LONDON—Queen Elizabeth, commenting on how her great, great, great, great, grandfather, King George IV, f*** up, giving the colonies away...
Most Americans ‘pretty sure’ the people who lied about COVID are telling the truth about Ukraine
US—A recent poll by the Pew Pew Center found that a majority of Americans are "pretty sure" that the people...
Biden receives ashes from Church of Planned Parenthood on Ash Wednesday
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden received ashes from the Church of Planned Parenthood on Ash Wednesday. The tradition started several years...
Democrats praise Biden for not dying during State of the Union address
WASHINGTON, DC—Without much to celebrate, Democrats turned to the old failsafe of the president not dying during the speech as...
BREAKING: Biden’s teleprompter to give first State of the Union Address
WASHINGTON, DC—Officials in the Biden administration have become increasingly worried about Biden’s mental health, especially over the high number of...
BREAKING: Ukraine confirms Greta Thunberg is the ‘Ghost of Kiev’
KYIV—The elusive 'Ghost of Kyiv,' who has inspired the globe in his remarkable ability to shoot down Russians, has been...
BREAKING: AOC says she was ‘nearly raped’ in Ukraine invasion
WASHINGTON, DC–Over a year after the War of January 6th, US Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has issued a statement that...
BREAKING: Heavily armed Russians arrest peaceful Ukrainian protesters at gun point
KYIV—Video and photographic evidence have shown Russians beating and trampling peaceful Ukrainian protesters at gun point. Sources also say that...
