Gavin Newsom unveils ‘totally spontaneous’ plans to rebuild Los Angeles after fires 
JUST IN: Tone deaf pilot has gender reveal party in the midst of LA wildfires 
Woman who got rich from people burning down cities get her mansion burnt down by wildfire 
BREAKING: LAPD arrest local vigilantes for stopping arsonists setting fires throughout city 
BREAKING: California rejects Oregon firefighters after their trucks fail smog check 
In major policy win, Biden admin offers $30 million in grants to unload Hunter’s crack pipes
WASHNGTON, DC—In a flagship grant program, titled ”Pipes with the Bidens,” the flailing administration has advanced their most ingenious piece...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Biden HHS giving out free COVID masks with holes for easier crack smoking
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden Health and Human Services Department is giving away free face masks with holes cut out in a...
Yoko Ono threatens to add her music to Spotify if they don’t remove Joe Rogan
NEW YORK—With many artists threatening to remove their (or other's) music from the streaming platform Spotify if they don't remove...
BREAKING: Biden FDA approves emergency use authorization of crack as COVID treatment
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden's Food & Drug Administration Commissioner Hunter Biden has fast-tracked the emergency use authorization for smoking crack as...
BREAKING: France to deploy troops to Caribbean islands of Ukraine in the ‘Speed Bump’ formation
PARIS—French President Emmanuel Macron announced the deployment of a few companies of French troops into the Ukraine conflict. Taken from...
BREAKING: Trudeau outlaws honking, bans all Canadian geese from country
OTTAWA—Canadian Fascist Party Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has outlawed all honking in response to the 2022 Trucker Convoy for Freedom...
Oprah explains to Whoopi how real power is when white people can’t fire you
NEW YORK—Whoopi Goldberg, after being suspended from her job at ABC’s ‘The View’ met with Oprah to vent about the...
Zucker lands role in live-action Mx. Potato Head film after being fired from CNN
ATLANTA—Jeff Zucker has already landed on his feet. The embattled ex-President of CNN has won a starring role in the...
Subway hires Megan Rapinoe as Sandwich Artist after she was cut from US Women’s Team
US—Outspoken soccer star Megan Rapinoe was cut from the U.S. Women’s National Team roster for the upcoming SheBelieves Cup. But...
VIDEO: How Joe Rogan’s podcast literally caused the Holocaust
We need to censor conversations with esteemed scientists and doctors and listen only to people with purple hair! https://rumble.com/embed/vrak46/?pub=w2au8
