Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
‘Greatest Generation’ renamed ‘Meh Generation’ for raising Boomers
Once regarded as history's finest for overcoming the Great Depression and World War II, the "Greatest Generation" has been renamed...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Fauci cancels Christmas so he won’t have to go back to North Pole to make toys
WASHINGTON, DC—Chief medical adviser to US President* Joe Biden, diminutive Dr. Anthony Fauci has decided to cancel Christmas this year...
BREAKING: Hillary Clinton ‘seriously thinking about’ losing again in 2024
Hillary Clinton said that she was, “seriously thinking about,” losing the presidency again in 2024. After a fall in the polls...
CDC warns US NOT to get J&J shot after J&J failed to contribute enough to DNC
ATLANTA—A Centers for Disease Control and Proliferation (CDC) advisory committee voted Thursday to advise calling mRNA coronavirus vaccines such as...
New MasterClass: Greta Thunberg Teaches What It’s Like Being Black in America
US—MasterClass is on a roll recently. After nabbing the power duo Bill and Hillary Clinton for classes on Blue Dress...
Elon Musk buys Twitter for $600B to label all CDC tweets as misinformation
AUSTIN—The world's wealthiest man and recent Time Person of the Year Elon Musk has purchased the legacy social media platform...
‘Businessmen are parasites’ says rep who lives solely on extorted taxpayer money
WASHINGTON, DC—Brave Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), who has been an ardent fighter for the unemployed worker, recently set aim on...
BREAKING: Biden to replace Christmas with 12 variants of Coronamas
WASHINGTON, DC—Due to the rise of gas prices, an increase in inflation, and overall economic failure, the the Biden administration...
BREAKING: Dr. Fauci announces the Ermahgerd variant
WASHINGTON, DC—Dr. Anthony Fauci, leading US doctor of all things medical and sciencey has just announced a new horrible variant...
Twitter bans Twitter for allowing CDC tweets contradicting CDC
TWATVILLE, CA—Social media behemoth Twitter has been banned indefinitely from its own platform for violating its community standards of not...
