Local man lives in constant daylight after saving it for 12 years 
All 6 WNBA fans devastated as Angel Reese threatens to sit out if she’s not paid more 
Local men dominate International Women’s Day 
BREAKING: Democrats unveil bold new ‘Peace is War’ campaign in support of endless Ukraine conflict 
AOC horrified terrorists are running over people with gas-powered cars instead of electric vehicles 
QUIZ: Ukraine after the Russian invasion or Minneapolis after a mostly peaceful protest?
This is probably the most difficult quiz we've published. Can you guess what this is a picture of: Ukraine following...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
‘Longshot Louie’ puts 1.3M on Ukraine at 40 to 1 in Vegas
LAS VEGAS—Bettors are moving on pre-war odds in the Ukraine - Russian conflict. As troop movements develop, Caesars betting manager,...
BREAKING: France has just surrendered
PARIS—After Russian forces invaded Ukraine at 5am local time, France, which is thousands of miles away wants nothing to do...
Biden playing Risk nonstop in Oval Office to prepare for Ukraine conflict
WASHINGTON, DC—Chairman of the Joint Chiefs Mark Milley set up a game of Risk in the Oval Office, to help...
POLL: Who is a bigger threat to America: Vladimir Putin or Joe Biden?
Russian President Vladimir Putin is threatening to invade Ukraine again, but we may have a bigger threat to America in...
Amazon combats ‘face-ism’ by casting butt-ugly elves for ‘Rings of Power’ series
HOLLYWOOD—To combat rampant bigotry including the insidious "face-ism" in Hollywood, Amazon is casting butt-ugly actors to play roles played traditionally...
GT retracts ‘Fascist Trudeau’ article for not being fake enough
After careful deliberation and a good deal of soul-searching, I have decided to write this letter to the Editorial Board...
BREAKING: Trudeau retaliates for Russia’s invasion of Ukraine by declaring war on Canada
OTTAWA—Following the aggressive move by Russia to move troops into two breakaway regions of eastern Ukraine, Canadian Prime Minister Justin...
Freedom Fries renamed White Supremacy Fries
CANADA--Restaurants across the country are updating their menus to identify their freedom fries by the more modern progressive term, white...
Putin says it’s too late to invade because his favorite show ‘1883’ is starting in 15 minutes
MOSCOW—President Putin’s motorcade pushed through rush hour traffic as he hurried home to catch the season finale of his favorite...
