Local Taco Bell Manager Certain Cyclospora Outbreak Came From Farmers Market Down the Street 
The New ‘Odyssey’ Film Literally Impregnated Me 
Carney Bans Wildfires From Canada 
Judge Rules Judges Are Above The Law 
France, Last Remaining African Team, Eliminated from World Cup 
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Stacey Abrams: ‘If we abort 2 Million babies this year we could send another $40 Billion to Ukraine’
ATLANTA—Georgia gubernatorial candidate and perennial election denier Stacey Abrams is promoting a savvy economic plan. "Inflation is really hitting us...
How opposing nuclear war is a sign of white supremacy
I don't know who needs to hear this but opposing Biden's forthcoming nuclear war is a sign of white supremacy...
Abrams: ‘Food and energy prices too high? Have you tried killing your kids?’
ATLANTA—Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams has taken a bold stance in her latest interview, promoting multiple homicides to deal with...
BREAKING: Kanye West agrees to settle with Floyd family for $15M; will pay in counterfeit $20 bills
MINNEAPOLIS—Kanye West (Ye) has agreed to settle with the George Floyd family who has sued West for $250 million for...
FACT CHECK: Cognitive ability is NOT relevant to holding public office
US—Following last week's NBC interview with braindead Pennsylvania Senate candidate John Fetterman, several posts on social media recently have claimed...
BREAKING: Spokesperson for Hell disputes Biden’s claim that the U.S. economy is ‘strong as hell’
WASHINGTON, DC—A spokesperson for the Underworld has disputed US President* Joe Biden's claim that the US economy is "strong as...
BREAKING: In response to Biden’s quid pro quo deal with Saudi Arabia, Congress to impeach Donald Trump again
WASHINGTON, DC—In response to President* Joe Biden’s attempted quid pro quo deal with Saudi Arabia, Congress has moved to impeach...
BREAKING: In order to win back JPMorgan Chase, Ye West starts a child sex trafficking ring
NEW YORK—Rapper Ye (formerly Kanye) West was pilloried by media pundits and JPMorgan Chase closed his bank account after committing...
BREAKING: Dr. Evil claims Alex Jones defamed him by calling him ‘Mr. Evil,’ demands $1 trillion
AUSTIN—The hits keep coming for Alex Jones, who recently received a guilty verdict in a defamation suit by the Sandy...
