BREAKING: Nation shocked to see a president in a room full of children and not sniff any of them 
BREAKING: Democrats warn DOGE that it’s unconstitutional for the federal government to be efficient 
Democrats warn they may never win another election again if Trump shuts down their USAID money laundering operation 
BREAKING: Trump halts Canadian tariffs after Trudeau agrees put “Daddy Trump” on all Canadian currency 
BREAKING: Trump converts all USAID offices into Spirit Halloween stores following shut down 
BREAKING: Trump picks Rosanne Barr as White House Press Secretary
Donald Trump has announced that he has picked actress and comedian Roseanne Barr as his new press secretary for his...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Photos surface of slave-owners shaving their heads in solidarity after Abraham Lincoln’s 1860 election
In a little-known chapter of American history, slave owners across the nation decided to shave their heads in solidarity after...
BREAKING: Taylor releases new song: ‘I Picked the Wrong Person… Again’
NASHVILLE—It’s heartbreak season once again for pop superstar Taylor Swift, who, following a recent bout of reflection, has allegedly set...
New Netflix docudrama portrays Trump in a shockingly positive light
Netflix has released a new docudrama about former President Donald Trump that portrays him in a positive light. However. The...
BREAKING: Maricopa County promises to be done counting votes in time for the next election
PHOENIX—Maricopa County election officials have promised that they will be done counting votes for the this election just in time...
4b: We refuse to have sex with people who voted for Trump!
We have made a bold decision: we refuse to have sex with Trump voters. Read 'em and weep, fellas! This...
BREAKING: Arizona to use Common Core math to ensure the ‘right’ candidate wins
PHOENIX, AZ—Election officials in the office of Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs have explained that they are using Common...
Kamala Harris quietly changes pronouns on X to “Has/Been”
WASHINGTON, DC—Vice President Kamala Harris has quietly changed her social media pronouns on the platform X (formerly Twitter) to "Has/Been."...
BREAKING: D.O.G.E. to replace costly Congresspeople with automated tellers
Washington DC—President-elect Donald Trump has announced that the Department of Government Efficiency will replace costly Congresspeople with automated tellers starting...
BREAKING: Trump proposes new border wall after Newsom threatens to ignore federal law
MAR-A-LAGO, FL—President-Elect Donald Trump has proposed building a new border wall that excludes California, following Governor Gavin Newsom's threat to...
