AOC: ‘If global warming is a hoax, why is it 90° in Australia now in the middle of WINTER?!’ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth storms Senate Armed Forces Hearing; claims Capitol for Jesus Christ 
BREAKING: Pete Hegseth opens senate confirmation hearing by calling Adam Schiff ‘so ugly even Epstein wouldn’t bring him to his island’ 
BREAKING: In lieu of aid, Biden reassures California wildfire victims he will be sending $100 billion to Ukraine in their name 
AOC horrified that people are using gas-powered blowtorches instead of solar-powered one to start wildfires in California 
De Blasio exempts blacks from NYC COVID vaccine mandate for ‘equality and science’
NEW YORK—After facing backlash from the Black Lives Matter movement over the city's COVID vaccine mandate, Mayor Bill de Blasio...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
NFL has made over 1 million fans gay this year
NEW YORK—Ever since the NFL came out of the closet as being gay this summer, they have made a point...
Local leftist replaces his ‘Resist!’ bumper sticker with a ‘Govern Me Harder Daddy!’ sticker
OSHKOSH, WI–A local leftist, Wankie McLittlejon, has finally switched his ‘Resist!’ bumper sticker from the dark ages of the Trump...
Biden sends Fauci to Amazon to practice vaccine blow dart technique
XCHITH-TI, Amazon—Ideas have been pouring in from all over the world on how the federal government can somehow overcome the...
Biden correcting yard signs for nurses who refuse vaccine after a year on front line
DELAWARE—President* Joe Biden was seen correcting the yard signs of several homes of nurses in his Delaware neighborhood from "A...
BREAKING: We must force-dorf the undorfed to dorf the dorfed with the dorf that didn’t dorf the dorfed
US—A new study was just released showing that we must force-dorf the undorfed in order to dorf the dorfed with...
BREAKING: COVID doesn’t spread at awards shows; galas
HOLLYWOOD—Celebrities and elites on both coasts will be pleased to know that the most dangerous disease in human history, COVID-19,...
Everyone at the Emmys wins award for pretending to care
HOHLLYWOOD—Seth Rogan won the first award of the night for virtue signaling about COVID right off the bat. "Good to...
Ghost of Norm MacDonald joins Genesius Times
Most of the comedy world was shaken by the announcement of the passing of comedian Norm MacDonald, who Steven Crowder...
US Capitol Police increase security ahead of Saturday’s FBI false flag event
WASHINGTON, DC—The U.S. Capitol Police is erecting a temporary fence around the Capitol in anticipation of a planned FBI false flag...
