BREAKING: NYPD Chief Turns into Zombie Following Bite From Democrat Councilwoman at Protest 
Fetuses identifying as MS-13 gang members to get Democrats to start fighting for their rights 
BREAKING: Pope Francis dies happy after meeting with JD Vance 
BREAKING: Trump agrees to transfer illegal gang members to the houses of Supreme Court judges who say he can’t deport them 
Democrats: It was okay for Kilmar Garcia to beat his wife because ‘she obviously wasn’t listening’ 
‘Matrix’ Producers replace ‘red pill’ with another blue pill from Pfizer
HOLLYWOOD—When the directors of the original Matrix film envisioned the iconic red pill scene, they had no idea that all...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
CNN to report on the thousands of people not shot in Chicago over the weekend
(CNN)—We at CNN have a new policy in which, instead of reporting on the number of people shot and killed...
Due to supply chain shortages Chick-fil-A changes name to Cat-fil-A
ATLANTA—Due to supply chain issues across the US, the largest fast casual restaurant chain, Chik-fil-A, is changing its name to...
Kamala Harris says Mayan calendar prophesies she will assume presidency February 02, 2022
WASHINGTON DC—Vice President Kamala Harris says the Mayan calendar has revealed she is to take the presidency of the United...
FBI to put 100% of agents on finding out who got Biden to say ‘Let’s go Brandon’
WASHINGTON, DC—The FBI is known for their tireless dedication to fighting horrible crimes and only horrible crimes. Like the time...
New ‘Santifa’ cards include explosives instead of glitter
Looking for a clever way to celebrate the holidays in 2021? Look no further! The new Santifa cards come with...
Generous Americans donate their vaccines to undocumented immigrants
US—Millions of generous Americans are forgoing their COVID vaccines to make sure that the millions of undocumented immigrants pouring in...
‘Greatest Generation’ renamed ‘Meh Generation’ for raising Boomers
Once regarded as history's finest for overcoming the Great Depression and World War II, the "Greatest Generation" has been renamed...
Fauci cancels Christmas so he won’t have to go back to North Pole to make toys
WASHINGTON, DC—Chief medical adviser to US President* Joe Biden, diminutive Dr. Anthony Fauci has decided to cancel Christmas this year...
BREAKING: Hillary Clinton ‘seriously thinking about’ losing again in 2024
Hillary Clinton said that she was, “seriously thinking about,” losing the presidency again in 2024. After a fall in the polls...
