AOC demands Black Friday be renamed ‘Friday of Color’ 
Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Biden Sneaks in Pardon for Hunter During Annual Turkey Pardon Ceremony 
Farewell, X: Why I’m Leaving Over Their Refusal to Censor Me 
BREAKING: Hillary Clinton accuses Simone Biles of colluding with the Russians in Olympic bow-out
TOKYO—Following her inspiring and history-making withdrawal from the Olympic gymnastics final, Simone Biles was shocked to learn former Secretary of...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Biden mandates frontal lobotomies for all federal employees, citing science
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden called on state and local governments to use COVID-19 relief funds to give $100 to residents who have a...
CNN: Biden draws mostly supportive crowd in Pennsylvania
(CNN) The most popular president in the history of the world, Joe Biden, drew a mostly supportive crowd in Allentown,...
Some female Olympians complain about ball-crushing uniforms after dominating performance
TOKYO—The Chinese Olympic track and field team has dominated all competition leading to the 2020 Tokyo Olympic games but they...
CDC opens ‘Faucitown’ where residents can drink vaccines mixed in Kool-Aid every day
FAUCITOWN, GA—The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have opened a village called Faucitown just outside of Atlanta where...
Lego releases new Kamala Harris set showcasing the rise to power of the vice president
COPENHAGEN, DENMARK—Toy manufacturer Lego has released a new Kamala Harris set showcasing the rise to power of the vice president....
It’s racist to include vaccinated people in COVID death data right now
COVID is not done. Not even close. As CNN and MSNBC have made very clear, we're having a pandemic of...
Lightfoot urges all Chicagoans to get vaccinated to keep everyone safe while shooting each other this weekend
CHICAGO—Mayor Lori Lightfoot made a public announcement, urging Chicagoans to get the COVID vaccine to keep everyone safe while they...
BREAKING: Kansas City Chiefs QB Mahomes demands team change name to KC White CEOs
KANSAS CITY, MO—Chiefs Quarterback Patrick Mahomes has left training camp and says he will "not play another down in the...
BREAKING: Dozens shocked that Democrat lawmakers won’t be held accountable
US—Dozens of people around the globe were shocked today to learn that multiple Democratic lawmakers won't be held accountable for...
