BREAKING: Mark Zuckerberg meets with Trump at Mar-a-Lago to secure release of his dad from Area 51 
Trump selects Jeb Bush for Secretary of the Department of Low Energy 
AOC demands Black Friday be renamed ‘Friday of Color’ 
Donald Trump picks Elizabeth Warren to head Bureau of Indian Affairs 
Outgoing Transportation Sec. Pete Buttigieg taps P. Diddy for mission to destroy Uranus 
BREAKING: Pentagon confirms alien sightings in and around Chicago
WASHINGTON, DC—The Pentagon confirmed today that there have been legitimate sightings of aliens in and around the Chicago area. Residents...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Biden finally finishes reading governing instruction manual 1984
WASHINGTON, DC—President-elect Joe Biden has finally finished reading the bestselling governing how-to manual "Nineteen Eighty-Four" and has already started implementing...
BREAKING: Demi Lovato self-identifies as Hernando Desoto I-40 Bridge
Demi Lovato is now more important than attacks on Israel, the attempt to federalize elections, the open border, and even...
Lego announces that all their minifigures have had sex change operations
BILLUND, DENMARK—The children's toy company Lego announced today that all the minifigures (the small Lego figurines) that you've been playing...
Disney opens new White Guilt Ride where whites can pay $160 to be slaves
VISTA DEL MAL, FL—In a brave move to call attention to systemic racism Disney World is introducing a new ride...
AFT calls for schools to remain closed until death is eradicated from the universe
WASHINGTON, DC—The American Federation of Teachers (D-DC) has called for all schools to remain closed until the scourge of death...
VIDEO: Fauci recommends wearing masks in the shower
WASHINGTON, DC—In a new video, a newly bearded Dr. Anthony Fauci warns of a new threat of spreading COVID while...
Biden orders flags flown at half-staff for all the folks who didn’t die after states reopened
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden ordered flags to be flown at half-staff today to honor all the people who didn't die after...
BREAKING: Demi Lovato comes out as an attention whore
HOLLYWOOD—Many sources are reporting that Demi Lovato has come out as an attention whore. The story is now more important...
CDC: ‘You must trust the science that will be completely different 2 weeks from now’
ATLANTA—The nation's top health expert, CDC Director Rochelle Walensky said on Genesius Times's "This Week's BS," that Americans must "trust...
