BREAKING: Biden pardons several ‘totally innocent’ people for crimes they didn’t commit 
BREAKING: Biden pardons all criminals except cute old grandma who waved flag in Capitol Jan 6 
BREAKING: Trump selects Genesius Times to replace CNN as official White House Fake News provider 
BREAKING: Many ‘totally innocent’ people begging for presidential pardons for the crimes they didn’t commit 
Trump Hollywood Envoy’s replaces fire-damaged Hollywood sign with “Trump Won” 
BREAKING: Protesting the government is okay again
ATLANTA — CNN has announced that protesting the government is okay again this week. The decision came after protests erupted...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
US approves sanctions on Beijing after forces attack protesters in the Chinese city of Minneapolis
WASHINGTON — Congress has approved new sanctions on Beijing after forces attacked peaceful protesters in the Chinese city of Minneapolis...
BREAKING: Officials urge rioters to maintain social distancing as they burn the city down
MINNEAPOLIS — City officials urged that rioters maintain social distancing and wear face masks as they burn the city down...
Local man pretty sure he ended racism by tweeting ‘white people are the worst’
NEW YORK, NY—Several millennia of racism, slavery, and warfare came to an abrupt end Thursday when local progressive Dickey Le...
BREAKING: Trump lengthens day to 25.5 hours to jump start economy
WASHINGTON — In an Oval Office ceremony held with business leaders and entrepreneurs at his side, President Trump today signed...
Fatalities mount as people run into plexiglass that wasn’t there yesterday
First there was 'sexiglass' the barrier that was placed between consenting adults. Maynard G. Crabs explained to GT, "The hole...
Experts shocked no one is wearing masks after they said to wear masks after they said to not wear masks
Medical experts are shocked that no one is wearing masks after they said to wear masks after they said to...
Alyssa Milano releases line of crocheted body armor for police
Actress, activists, and self proclaimed genius Alyssa Milano has already made her mark by being part of the #MetooSometimes Movement...
Fauci: ‘Dying cancer victims should just be glad they didn’t get COVID-19 with a 99.8% cure rate’
Tens of thousands of cooperative self-isolating quarantined citizens are coming out of their basements. A bit dazed, a little pale,...
Newsom reassures public that the church of the state is still open during lockdown
On Friday, President Trump deemed houses of worship “essential" while California and other states keep in-person services closed due to...
