‘Trump Can’t Buy Me for $5,000,’ Says Local Man Who Got Experimental Jab for a Free Donut 
AOC Asks How 9/11 Victims ‘Died in Alphabetical Order’ During Memorial Reading 
Yes, Black Lives Matter… Unless They Disagree with Liberals 
9/11 Drone Show to Recreate Perfectly Intact Hijacker Passport Escaping Fiery Inferno 
NCAA Rules Michigan May Keep Playing Until They Win 
BREAKING: Walls work now
WASHINGTON, DC—After years of telling people that walls do not work to keep people out of the United States, Democrats...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Biden to build wall along entire coastline to fight rising sea levels
Washington, DC—Joe Biden signaled that the environment will be at the heart of the next administration as he unveiled a...
Trump to be replaced with Biden in controversial ‘Home Alone 2’ scene
HOLLYWOOD—President Trump is losing the White House to Joe Biden. And now Trump will lose his place in “Home Alone...
BREAKING: New York sues Trump for making America too great
NEW YORK—New York Attorney General Letitia James announced today that once Trump leaves office, she’ll be launching a criminal investigation...
Forest fire arsonist identified as Squirrel Lives Matter activist
SAN OAK, CA—Months after forest fires destroyed thousands of acres of woodland, a four-legged arsonist, Chippy Nutfield, has been arrested....
Antifa disappointed they won’t have any fascists to protest after Trump leaves
WASHINGTON, DC—Black Lives Matter and Antifa are disappointed over not having any excuses to riot once Trump leaves office. “I’m...
BREAKING: Democrats promise to not steal anymore elections once they have all the power
WASHINGTON, DC—Congressional Democrats have officially promised to not steal anymore elections once they have all the power. "We pinky swear...
BREAKING: Trump hasn’t condemned violence in last 3.4 seconds
(CNN) President Donald Trump has not denounced violence in the last 3.4 seconds, which clearly means that he supports a violence insurrection...
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez suggests nuking sun at night when it’s colder to fight climate change
NEW YORK CITY—Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez took the internet by storm today when she suggested that the federal government should nuke...
BREAKING: Biden declares Republicans will only get 3/5ths of a vote from now on
WASHINGTON, DC—In a bold strategy to unify the country, President-elect Joe Biden has declared that, going forward, Republicans will only...
