Bernie declares eating $6.2 million duct-taped bananas a human right to be paid for by government 
Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
Bill Gates disappointed his population control coronavirus hasn’t killed more
The population control bioweapon coronavirus is on the move again. It has now spread throughout China. Next stop, who knows?...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Pete Buttigieg takes sexy selfie at mass grave for South Bend abortion victims
Pete Buttigieg took time out of his busy presidential campaign yesterday to flash a peace sign and smirk on a...
Elizabeth Warren hopes to pick up crucial dog-faced pony soldier vote with facial reconstruction surgery
Elizabeth Warren has been fading in the polls recently. Her Native American debacle has not helped. But now that Joe...
Democratic convention to be moved to Chuck E. Cheese, but DNC won’t tell Bernie which one
Bernie Sanders is fuming. Let's face it, Hillary Clinton and the DNC screwed Bernie Sanders in 2016. It's starting to...
Boeing finally reveals the contents of the ‘black box’
Iran has acceded to the demands of Boeing today in agreeing to hand over the infamous Black Box from the...
Dwayne Wade proud to let his 12-year-old ‘live out his truth’ as a Pterodactyl
Retired NBA star Dwayne Wade remembers exactly what his 12-year-old son said when he came out as transpecies. "We was...
Bernie assures public that his ‘re-education camps’ will be tuition-free
WASHINGTON, DC—In the wake of devastating footage from Project Veritas, showing Bernie Sanders campaign workers accidentally revealing Bernie Sanders’ plan to convert...
New Hampshire celebrates socialist Bernie’s primary victory with a parade and a famine
Though the final vote might have been closer than he liked, democratic socialist Bernie Sanders is the projected winner of...
Iran employs long-range Lockheed Martin Gaydar as Buttigieg climbs in the polls
Everyone is well aware of the murderous Islamic thugs who identify, torture and eventually kill gay and lesbian people living...
Nation’s brooms glad to finally be recognized for their other talents
BALTIMORE MD—Broom Union Representatives from the Maryland Broom Company are marking yesterday as a historic day for the broom community....
