Hey RFK Jr., Hands Off! Why Poison in Our Food Is Actually Good 
Millions of new tariff experts unsure how to pay off their student loan debt 
Climate activists protest Elon Musk by sending ‘NO DOGE’ smoke signals up from burning Tesla batteries 
AOC: Only Illegal Immigrants Should Get Due Process Because they Broke the Law to be Here So Clearly They Really Want It 
BREAKING: Katy Perry declares herself pope after reading the Bible for 11 minutes 
BREAKING: Mormon God to impeach Mitt Romney
We all now know Senator Mitt Romney will vote to impeach President Trump claiming "It's between him and his God."...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Nancy Pelosi releases series of workout tapes ‘Ripped’
Kept under wraps for months, our Genesius Times sports journalism department uncovers what Nancy Pelosi has been up to for...
Democrats honor Margaret Sanger by wearing ‘white-supremacy white’ to State of the Union
Democratic women House members — from Speaker Nancy Pelosi down to freshman Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Ilhan Omar— showed up...
BREAKING: Jennifer Lopez wins Iowa Caucus
The chaos in the Iowa Caucus has resulted in a complete change of the Democratic party elections. While Donald Trump...
Iowa Caucus results delayed due to DNC using Common Core math to tally votes
The first election of 2020 devolved into chaos Monday night as the results of Iowa’s Democratic caucuses were delayed indefinitely as...
BREAKING: Hillary Clinton admits servers for Iowa caucus located in Chappaqua
Genesius Times breaking news reporter, Imonit Ritenow, has uncovered stunning secret documents and satellite images. They reveal Democrat-run servers being...
Iowan Dems scramble to find a candidate who doesn’t actually suck
For over a year, Iowans have hosted campaign stops by over three thousand Democratic presidential hopefuls in effort to prove...
To raise awareness during Super Bowl, Shakira used the same rope that Epstein used when he didn’t kill himself
During the most meaningful and poignant Super Bowl halftime show ever, singer and performer Shakira raised awareness during her rope...
BREAKING: Ben and Jerry’s “Peach-Mint” recalled after attempting to suicide over 63 million people
Genesius Times food critic, Buffet Bill Scaletopper, has been given another exclusive, revealing Ben and Jerry's newest and most disgusting...
Super Bowl halftime show protests sex trafficking in bold pole dance
Sex trafficking is a growing concern with hundreds of thousands reportedly being held against their will around the globe. Recent...
