Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
Republicans Embarrassed Again As MTG Wins ‘Biggest Set of Balls’ Award
In a stunning upset that left many Republicans red-faced and embarrassed, firebrand Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene has emerged victorious in...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: NFL Suspends Chiefs’ Kicker for Not Meeting League Minimum for Domestic Violence
The NFL has officially suspended Kansas City Chiefs' kicker, Harrison Butker, for his failure to meet the league minimum of...
STUNNING: Chet and Jabba the Hutt cover SI 2022 swimsuit issue
US—Chet and Jabba the Hutt have reached new career peaks: Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue cover star. "It's hard to even...
BREAKING: Biden challenges Trump to a diaper-filling contest
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Joe Biden has challenged former President Donald Trump to a diaper-filling contest, igniting a fierce battle between the...
Inadequate Judge Merchan can’t gag Stormy Daniels: ‘I’ve Tried’
In a shocking turn of events, notoriously small jurist, Judge Merchan, has been unable to gag Stormy Daniels, the adult...
Biden draws his largest rally ever in Del Rio, Texas
DEL RIO, TEXAS—Thousands of illegal immigrants, mostly from Haiti, are congregating under an international bridge in the largest rally ever for...
BREAKING: Trump indicted for drawing 100,000 people to rally
WILDWOOD, New Jersey—In a shocking turn of events, former President Donald Trump has been indicted for the heinous crime of...
Kentucky Derby winner declines White House invitation: ‘If I wanted to see a horse’s ass I would’ve come in second’
Brian Hernandez Jr., jockey for the Kentucky Derby winner Mystik Dan, has declined an invitation to the White House, saying,...
Boeing issues apology after accidentally killing 10 NCAA whistleblowersÂ
Boeing has issued a formal apology after "accidentally" killing 10 NCAA referees during a series of test flights. The aerospace...
Gov Kathy Hochul’s lures black voters back to the Democratic Party by calling them ignorant, sheltered monkeys
NEW YORK—In a last-ditch effort to secure her position as New York Governor, Kathy Hochul has resorted to a shocking...
