Hey RFK Jr., Hands Off! Why Poison in Our Food Is Actually Good 
Millions of new tariff experts unsure how to pay off their student loan debt 
Climate activists protest Elon Musk by sending ‘NO DOGE’ smoke signals up from burning Tesla batteries 
AOC: Only Illegal Immigrants Should Get Due Process Because they Broke the Law to be Here So Clearly They Really Want It 
BREAKING: Katy Perry declares herself pope after reading the Bible for 11 minutes 
Sen. Schumer recommends these all-natural alternatives to help kids quit vaping
Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., on Monday slammed the Trump administration’s attempt to crack down on vaping, saying that...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
US raises legal age to vote Democratic to 21 due to health concerns, other dangers
President Donald Trump on Friday signed a sweeping spending bill into law, including a measure that prohibits voting Democratic to anyone under the...
Pelosi threatens to withhold New Year’s until they guarantee ‘a fair 2020’
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has threatened to withhold New Year's Eve and the associated revelry until they guarantee,...
Charlize Theron begins transitioning son into Tyrannosaurus Rex
Hollywood actress and professional virtue signaler Charlize Theron is the perfect mother, treating her children exactly as they want to...
Bernie promises Americans a 0-hour work day if elected president
At the Iowa United Food and Commercial Workers forum on Sunday, democratic socialist presidential candidate Bernie Sanders was asked whether he would...
Beto seen trying to convince Texas church security to wait for police during shooting
WHITE SETTLEMENT, Texas—Armed members of the West Freeway Church of Christ stopped an alleged mass shooter from killing more than...
Man sues Burger King after ‘Impossible Whopper’ turns him into a woman
A local man is suing Burger King after one Impossible Whopper, the company's manufactured vegan meat burger, turned him into...
Thousands demand Trump’s impeachment before they end up with jobs
Unemployed liberals across the country are fuming at the low unemployment rate numbers, so much so that they are demanding...
Merry Refugeemas! Saint Negligence promises a fake asylum seeker for every supporter of amnesty!
The Christmas Holiday is well known despite the efforts of Secular legal precedence set forth in the 1960s, but a...
BREAKING: Bernie Sanders caught impersonating Santa and stealing 90% of people’s gifts from under tree
Presidential candidate and ardent democratic socialist Bernie Sanders has been arrested for impersonating Santa Claus and entering people's homes in...
