Local college grad says it’s ‘impossible’ to find a job these days 
AOC: Billionaires shouldn’t be able to influence government; only triple PhDs with no real-world work experience should do that 
AOC: Billionaires influencing government is evil (unless they fund only Democrats of course) 
Biden recalls Kwanzaa memories growing up in Scranton, PA 
Local dad surprised by the Christmas gifts he gave his kids because his wife did all the shopping 
OPED: Thank God California banned plastic straws finally!
California has completed the equivalent of the moon landing today. They spent $4 billion ridding this beautiful feces-strewn state of...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
BREAKING: Latest Hurricane Dorian prediction maps completed by local toddler
MOBILE, AL—18-month-old and world renown scribbler Bobby has released the latest Hurricane Dorian prediction model maps for the US National...
BREAKING: Biden to end white supremacy once he’s the supreme leader of the country
2020 Democratic front-runner Joe Biden asserted that "white folks are the reason we have institutional racism" and that such things...
BREAKING: Trump changes Labor Day to ‘Capitalism Day’ because without capital, labor is just slavery
In a bold unilateral decision, President Trump changed the Labor Day holiday to be known as Capital Day or Capitalism...
AOC decries burrito vending machine as latest example of capitalism’s exploitation of marginalized peoples
“How can they do this?” Occasio-Cortez asked her campaign assistant. “These filthy capitalists just appropriate Texican culture and put it...
Opinion: How can I impose my values on you if you are armed to the teeth?
Dear readers, you know the story. Some benevolent utopian seeks to impose his value via force onto his citizens. The...
Millions of UK socialists dying in the streets from withdrawals during Parliament shutdown
British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has asked Queen Elizabeth II to shut down Parliament in what is called a prorogue...
SJWs mad that the female Thor isn’t a black transgender lesbian
Natalie Portman's role in the Marvel Cinematic Universe is set to drastically expand in the next Thor sequel, as her franchise character...
KFC offering deal in honor of Taylor Swift’s new album
The chicken chain KFC is ramping up their marketing in light of the Internet chicken wars. Franchises around the country...
OPED: I was raped by whoever Trump picks to replace Ginsburg on the Supreme Court
This is incredibly difficult for me to do but I feel that it's necessary to come forward and expose the...
