Jaguar introduces new car to match its new ad campaign 
BREAKING: I was raped by whoever Trump selects for one of his cabinet positions 
BREAKING: Elon Musk buys MSNBC to constantly air video of Alex Jones giving Morning Joe and Mika noogies 
CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
BREAKING: Epstein’s prison guard was tragically killed in auto accident tomorrow
In a shocking coincidence, the prison guard who was watching Jeffrey Epstein during his suicide, Malcolm Smith, was tragically killed...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
AUTOPSY: Epstein suicide linked to constant loop of Taylor Swift’s new album
An autopsy has confirmed what has been widely-speculated for days now: the Jeffrey Epstein suicide was triggered by constant loop...
BREAKING: Epstein to be accidentally cremated before full autopsy
New York Coroner Deepak Statey will accidentally cremate the body of Jeffrey Epstein who was suicided last week, according to...
Hillary Clinton blames Russia for Jeffrey Epstein’s ‘suicide’
After Jeffrey Epstein's predictable suicide in a Manhattan jail, blame is going around as to who actually suicided him. Most...
Breaking: Last known visitor to see Jeffrey Epstein alive identified
I have been reliably informed that we now know the name of the last person to visit Jeffrey Epstein before...
Epstein prison guards thought ‘suicide watch’ meant watching him commit suicide
Jeffrey Epstein has been suicided in a Manhattan Correctional Center in Manhattan at roughly 7:30. After a failed suicide attempt...
Julian Castro’s new “disarm hate” plan will permit liberals to hunt Trump voters for sport
Julian Castro just released a plan to effectively end the unnecessary violence in America. Using his thinking cap, and building...
New evidence proves that Cain killed Abel after first-shooter video game binge
After several prominent figures have hypothesized that violent video games were to blame for the horrific mass shootings recently by...
Dad of gay teen fondly recalls time when real men only feared daughters getting pregnant
Oh, the good ol' days when men were men and women were women, and boys didn't compete in girl competitions...
Texas Rep Joaquin Castro denies relation to dictator Fidel Castro after using all his tactics
SAN ANTONIO, TX—In a statement Thursday, Texas Rep. Joaquin Castro said that he definitely wasn't Fidel Castro's nephew even though...
