CNN: Startled by Loud Noises, President Kennedy Trips and Falls in Limousine 
This Day In Mostly-Peaceful History: President Kennedy Goes Scenic Ride through Dallas 
Elon Musk needs to stop doing amazing things because it’s making us gender studies triple-doctorates feel worthless 
BREAKING: Trump considering replacing Federal Reserve with much more reliable Magic 8 Ball 
BREAKING: Dems cheer Laken Riley’s murder As ‘A very, very late term abortion’ 
Most woke Oscars ever includes first living turd Oscar-winner
Hollywood, CA-- It was an historic evening as the Motion Picture Academy dished out more Oscars to minorities than ever...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Socialist Bernie fans excited to wait 12 hours for food and healthcare at the DMV
Fans of the democratic socialist candidate for president Bernie Sanders are excited for the Democratic front-runner to take office in...
Unpopular Democratic candidates take 70% of Bernie Sanders’ contributions
The front-running candidate for the Democratic nominee, Bernie Sanders, is starting off on a good foot, generating $70 million his...
Ocasio-Cortez: Don’t like #GreenNewDeal? ‘come up with your own stupid plan to deal with a fake problem’
After receiving waves of criticism for her Green New Deal proposals of the cow-fart police and the 100% renewable electricity extension cord,...
“Unregulated foods aren’t safe” say students in line at street meat vendor
As the Trump administration rolls back regulations across various industries, millennial voters are becoming increasingly concerned with the impact less...
New San Francisco restaurant lets socialist patrons literally ‘eat the rich’
After a rough start and trouble getting permits, the new swanky hipster restaurant in the Castro neighborhood of San Francisco...
Jussie Smollett claims white supremacists killed him while he was in jail
Chicago— Actor Jussie Smollett, who was recently arrested for filing a false police report, now claims that members of a...
Liberals protest Amazon using materials and wearing clothes they bought on Amazon
U.S.—The nation's liberals are protesting the Internet giant Amazon.com for doing exactly what everyone wants it to do: provide countless...
BREAKING: Elderly man seen in multiple locations offering kids free stuff from van
An elderly white male, who witnesses describe as, "kinda crazy looking" has been seen in multiple locations around town offering...
UPDATE: Black panther arrested in connection to Colorado MAGA mountain lion attack
UPDATE: Police have now apprehended a black panther, who is native to the tropical jungle of Nigeria, for the crime...
