White House: Nuclear Armageddon was always a key part of Biden’s ‘Build Back Better’ agenda 
Transwomen complain about uniforms crushing their balls during dominating performance 
CNN: How Biden’s global thermonuclear war could be great for your skin 
California Election officials: ‘Count is taking so long because we’re waiting for people to die so that they can vote Democrat’ 
VIDEO: Genesius Times has gained exclusive video from hacker of Matt Gaetz engaging in sex trafficking and illicit drugs with minors 
Guy in cubicle certain that his next sniffle will be the last
After 783 continuous workdays in which he coughed and sniffled every 15 seconds, the guy in the cubicle next to...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
George H W Bush died from death
Rumors have spread like wildfire about the former president's death. What was the cause? Health experts have now confirmed that...
Ocasio-Cortez says Tide pod challenge can work if it’s a ‘democratic’ Tide pod challenge
Facing mounting criticism on her position about the dangerous Tide pod challenge, newly-elected Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is doubling down. "The...
BREAKING: Scholar discovers Bible verse saying Bible is the sole infallible rule of faith and practice
An ancient texts scholar has discovered the Bible verse that proves that the Bible is the sole infallible rule of...
Local toddler barely escapes horrifying persecution of being given the “red” cup.
"It was probably the worst experience of his life," little Jared's mother explained. Her son narrowly escaped the horrifying experience...
Thousands of migrants demand ‘human rights’ by bashing people and destroying others’ property
The migrant caravan seeking asylum and 'human rights' has reached the US border and started bashing border patrol agents and...
Experts say global warming will finally match margin of error in 178 years
The Earth's temperatures continue to skyrocket upwards, say 102% of global climate experts. "It's getting hot in here!" NOAA scientist...
Vatican appoints 3 toed sloth to efficiency panel
In a move that some are calling brazen, Pope Francis has appointed an actual 3 toed sloth to the Vatican...
Ocasio-Cortez agrees to wear glasses to prove she’s intelligent
"Everyone who wears glasses is smart," Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said in an interview, "so these are proof that I know my...
Ocasio-Cortez DNA results show she’s 1/1024th Muppet
While no one has doubted congresswoman elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's minority status, there has been plenty of doubt about her heritage...
