BREAKING: Democrats warn DOGE that it’s unconstitutional for the federal government to be efficient 
Democrats warn they may never win another election again if Trump shuts down their USAID money laundering operation 
BREAKING: Trump halts Canadian tariffs after Trudeau agrees put “Daddy Trump” on all Canadian currency 
BREAKING: Trump converts all USAID offices into Spirit Halloween stores following shut down 
BREAKING: Trump signs executive order allowing straight white people in commercials again 
BREAKING: Wray promises to allow several more terrorist attacks before he steps down as FBI Director
Washington, D.C. — In a surprising yet somewhat expected turn of events, FBI Director Christopher Wray has announced his commitment...
Satire That’s Truer Than News
Local college grad says it’s ‘impossible’ to find a job these days
In a world where individuality and creative expression are celebrated, there exists a young college graduate who has taken the...
AOC: Billionaires shouldn’t be able to influence government; only triple PhDs with no real-world work experience should do that
In the grand tapestry of American politics, where every thread is either a dollar bill or a promise of one,...
AOC: Billionaires influencing government is evil (unless they fund only Democrats of course)
In the hallowed halls of Congress, where the air is thick with the scent of justice, equality, and occasionally, the...
Biden recalls Kwanzaa memories growing up in Scranton, PA
WASHINGTON, DC—In a heartwarming trip down memory lane, President* Joe Biden regaled the audience at the White House Kwanzaa celebration...
Local dad surprised by the Christmas gifts he gave his kids because his wife did all the shopping
In a heartwarming holiday twist, local resident Mark Thompson was left utterly astonished by the Christmas presents he ostensibly chose...
BREAKING: American Airlines to use flying reindeer to pull airplanes amid technical glitch
American Airlines has announced that their fleet will temporarily be powered by flying reindeer after a catastrophic software glitch grounded...
BREAKING: Shots fired at Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles; possible hostage situation
CENTURY CITY, CA—The Los Angeles Police Department, SWAT, and FBI are surrounding Nakatomi Plaza at this hour after an LAPD...
Family makes annual trip to donate last year’s Chinese junk to make room for this year’s Chinese junk
The Smith family has perfected an annual ritual that combines the spirit of giving with the art of decluttering. On...
Kamala Harris unsure how to pay off campaign debt but certain about how to run the US economy
Washington D.C. - In the wake of a challenging presidential campaign, Vice President Kamala Harris finds herself grappling with a...
