Biden’s puppet master revealed in heartwarming White House ceremony
WASHINGTON, DC—In a rare White House ceremony, the puppet master for President* Joe Biden was revealed to the world as...
Barack Obama
COVID-positive Barack Obama will social distance from Michelle for another 4 years
MARTHA'S VINEYARD-- After testing positive for COVID-19, former President Barack Obama says he will continue to social distance from Michelle,...
Obamas release old photographs of pregnant Michelle
After years of speculation surrounding Malia and Sasha Obama's biological maternity, photos of a pregnant Michelle Obama surfaced, firmly putting...
BREAKING: COVID doesn’t spread at awards shows; galas
HOLLYWOOD—Celebrities and elites on both coasts will be pleased to know that the most dangerous disease in human history, COVID-19,...
BREAKING: Pentagon confirms alien sightings in and around Chicago
WASHINGTON, DC—The Pentagon confirmed today that there have been legitimate sightings of aliens in and around the Chicago area. Residents...
Biden ends all racism by renaming The White House ‘Privileged House’
WASHINGTON, DC—The Harris-Biden-Pelosi administration has officially renamed the obviously racist White House "Privileged House" following a national poll. “Yes, it’s...
BREAKING: Biden ends mass discussion about ‘Kids in cages’
THE BORDER—The great humanitarian Joe Biden has overturned the horrible Trump immigration policy of "kids in cages" that the Obama...
All food packaging to feature at least one Obama from now on
The Mars company announced today they are 'Racist No More' and have signed Barack Obama to replace the outdated Uncle...
BREAKING: New pictures surface of kids in cages near the border
US—It's unclear whether it is a cruel form of retribution for the children in confinement at the US border or...
Obama accidentally eulogizes himself during John Lewis’s eulogy
John Lewis served 17 terms in the U.S. House of Representatives. That, we can all agree, is pretty impressive. Of...
