Californian arrested for expressing wrong political opinion
LOS ANGELES, CA—The Los Angeles Police Department arrested local LA resident Max Summers earlier today for expressing the wrong political...
Gavin Newsom
Official How-To Guide for Safely Celebrating Thanksgiving in 2020
Millions of Americans find themselves unsure how to celebrate Thanksgiving this year due to the China Virus. Using recommendations and...
Newsom allows religious gatherings again as long as they’re mass suicides
SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has lifted the ban on religious gatherings in his state as long as the gathering is a mass...
Gov Newsom limits gatherings to 3 families if a midget is present and no laughing
SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has decreed a new set of social distancing guidelines from on high allowing the peasant classes to...
Newsom signs executive order releasing prison inmates who don’t ‘identify’ as a criminals
SACRAMENTO—California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) signed an executive order Saturday allowing inmates to be released from prison immediately if they don't "identify" as a...
Satan buys summer home in California after Newsom makes it just right for him
LOS ANGELES--The fallen angel Lucifer, also known as Satan, has purchased a summer home in California after Governor Gavin Newsom...
Antifa arsonists blame climate change for making them set dozens of fires on West Coast
Former president Barack Obama and California Governor Gavin Newsom have used their celebrity to condemn global warming for the devastating...
Innovative California police department goes 100% transparent
BAD WATER, CA—The town of Bad Water has decided to have the most transparent police force in America. Considered by...
The #1 attraction in California this year is Texas
LOS ANGELES—For the second year in a row, the top attraction in the beautiful state of California is Texas. "There's...
BREAKING: California mandates conversion therapy for white people
SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has announced a new mandated program of conversion therapy for people stricken with whiteness. "Californians have woken...
