Gavin Newsom

Official How-To Guide for Safely Celebrating Thanksgiving in 2020

Richie Richards November 23, 2020 0

Millions of Americans find themselves unsure how to celebrate Thanksgiving this year due to the China Virus. Using recommendations and...

Newsom allows religious gatherings again as long as they’re mass suicides

Exavier Saskagoochie October 17, 2020 0

SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has lifted the ban on religious gatherings in his state as long as the gathering is a mass...

Gov Newsom limits gatherings to 3 families if a midget is present and no laughing

Exavier Saskagoochie October 15, 2020 0

SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has decreed a new set of social distancing guidelines from on high allowing the peasant classes to...

Newsom signs executive order releasing prison inmates who don’t ‘identify’ as a criminals

Exavier Saskagoochie September 28, 2020 0

SACRAMENTO—California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) signed an executive order Saturday allowing inmates to be released from prison immediately if they don't "identify" as a...

Satan buys summer home in California after Newsom makes it just right for him

Exavier Saskagoochie September 13, 2020 0

LOS ANGELES--The fallen angel Lucifer, also known as Satan, has purchased a summer home in California after Governor Gavin Newsom...

Innovative California police department goes 100% transparent

The Lonely Rogue September 4, 2020 0

BAD WATER, CA—The town of Bad Water has decided to have the most transparent police force in America. Considered by...

The #1 attraction in California this year is Texas

Exavier Saskagoochie August 29, 2020 0

LOS ANGELES—For the second year in a row, the top attraction in the beautiful state of California is Texas. "There's...

BREAKING: California mandates conversion therapy for white people

Exavier Saskagoochie July 21, 2020 0

SACRAMENTO—Governor Gavin Newsom has announced a new mandated program of conversion therapy for people stricken with whiteness. "Californians have woken...