‘Longshot Louie’ puts 1.3M on Ukraine at 40 to 1 in Vegas
LAS VEGAS—Bettors are moving on pre-war odds in the Ukraine - Russian conflict. As troop movements develop, Caesars betting manager,...
Joe Biden
POLL: Who is a bigger threat to America: Vladimir Putin or Joe Biden?
Russian President Vladimir Putin is threatening to invade Ukraine again, but we may have a bigger threat to America in...
BREAKING: Justin Trudeau invades Poland
OTTAWA—Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has instructed the Canadian Royal Mounted Police to invade Poland, breaking several peacetime treaties. At 4:45...
BREAKING: After consulting trusted advisors, Biden now says Ukraine will invade Russia any day now
WASHINGTON, DC—President Biden, after spending almost two hours alone, at his Oval Office desk, consulting (babbling aimlessly) with his closest...
BREAKING: Biden sends $80B in weapons to Ukraine to leave behind for Russia when we withdraw
WASHINGTON, DC--Following his stellar exit strategy that worked flawlessly in Afghanistan, President* Biden is sending over $80 billion in military-grade...
Biden admin to require proof of vaccination to receive free crack
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden administration has made it clear that proof of full vaccination will be required to receive the administration's...
In major policy win, Biden admin offers $30 million in grants to unload Hunter’s crack pipes
WASHNGTON, DC—In a flagship grant program, titled ”Pipes with the Bidens,” the flailing administration has advanced their most ingenious piece...
Biden HHS giving out free COVID masks with holes for easier crack smoking
WASHINGTON, DC—The Biden Health and Human Services Department is giving away free face masks with holes cut out in a...
BREAKING: Biden FDA approves emergency use authorization of crack as COVID treatment
WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden's Food & Drug Administration Commissioner Hunter Biden has fast-tracked the emergency use authorization for smoking crack as...
Elite Rogan’s Rangers deployed to Ukraine armed only with deadly interviews
KYIV, UKRAINE—The elite unit Rogen’s Rangers was deployed by the Biden Pentagon in the middle of the night to the...
