Joe Biden

BLM looking forward to some early Black Friday looting following Rittenhouse acquittal

Exavier Saskagoochie November 19, 2021

KENOSHA, WI—Black Lives Matter activists across the country are looking forward to some early Black Friday looting once Kyle Rittenhouse...

CNN: Biden to ensure this supply chain stays open

Exavier Saskagoochie November 18, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—President* Biden is working nonstop to combat the supply chain issues that President* Biden is creating. But he has...

Gates warns he will release smallpox if people don’t get COVID vaccine

Exavier Saskagoochie November 17, 2021

SEATTLE—Tech founder and worldwide supervillain Bill Gates says that he will release the deadliest disease known to man—smallpox—if people don’t get vaccinated...

OPED: It’s okay to be racist if your name is Biden

Mx. Sandra Chou, PhD. PhD. November 12, 2021

I don't know who needs to hear this but it's okay to be racist if your name is Biden. This...

Buttigieg to fix supply chain issues by making all US highways gay

Exavier Saskagoochie November 10, 2021

WASHINGTON, DC—Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg pointed to homophobia as the reason for America's current supply chain issues during an appearance on MSDNC's Morning Fellatio on...

Big Bird falls off stage, cancels all appearances following vaccination

Exavier Saskagoochie November 8, 2021

US--Big Bird has cancelled all appearances after falling off stage following highly publicized vaccination. The eight-foot two-inch (249 cm) tall...

McAuliff-wins-Virginia-race-before-polls-open

BREAKING: McAuliff wins Virginia race just before polls open

Bubbaken Managua November 2, 2021

RICHMOND, VA—In order to avoid post-election confusion like we had in 2020, Virginia Democratic gubernatorial candidate Terry McAuliffe was declared...